The Energy We Are Bringing Into 2025 (and a real life update)

Moving into 2025, we are talking all about the energy we are bringing into the New Year. I’m also sharing a very (very) vulnerable life update with you guys… Thank you for your support, couldn’t do this without you. 

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Transcript

Hi, hello. :-)  Welcome back to another episode of the Unrelatable podcast. Happy 2025. It is January 2nd, and I cannot believe that it is the year 2025.

I know we hear it a 1000000 times, but it's actually crazy. It's crazy how our lives are kind of measured pre COVID, post COVID, but it really is incredibly insane to me that it has been 5 years now. And my last episode, we talked a lot about what we're letting go in 2024. And so I thought, what better energy to bring us into 2025 than talking about just that, the energy we're bringing into 2025. Oh my goodness.

I should have thought of what I was gonna say right there. But yeah. So today, we're gonna be talking about the energy we're bringing into this year, and I'm going to give you an completely unfiltered, honest life update with the energy I am bringing into this year and kind of the way that life has and is changing and the I don't know. I guess, just the experiences that bring us to where we are today. So if you're interested in that, I think you'll enjoy today's episode.

And with that, welcome back to another episode of the Unrelatable podcast. This year really felt like or I guess last year. Crazy. Last year really felt like it was a huge change for so many people. I can't even tell you how many of my friends are pregnant, and they're expecting their first or second baby this year.

A lot of them in February. I think I have 4 friends who are all due in February. It's actually kind of crazy. It's so cool. And then other people, you know, going through other life changes that is are really difficult.

I feel like there were a lot of losses in 2024, especially with family. And and, I don't know, there's been deaths at least in my life. I mean, there were the hurricanes, which were absolutely devastating. But at the same time, I've listened to a lot of podcasts and people's experiences of those who had a really soft, calm, and empowering year. And that is definitely what I wanna focus on for this next year since, you know, we talked about all the things we're letting go.

I had a submission form on my on my Google forms, which is an anonymous way to submit your stories or your thoughts, and you guys really came through. I have, I think, 17 submissions of the energy that we are bringing into 2025. So we're first gonna start with those. And the very first submission says, I'm ready to travel solo for the very first time and explore new places without any reservations. Solo traveling is something I have always wanted to try.

I mean well, I guess, as you guys know, I did go to a concert solo in November, and that was really cool. It was really cool. It was kinda scary. I mean, walking into a concert venue by yourself, that was probably the weirdest part because I've always gone to concerts, obviously, with other people, but it was really cool. And I'm so glad that I did it.

And, obviously, that's just a really, really, really small three day trip. And so I think that solo traveling abroad would be so empowering. I mean, even just the excitement of the new adventures and the places that you can go. I mean, I do love traveling with people, and I will do it every single day of my life. I will travel with anyone.

If you wanna go on a trip, just let me know. I will plan the whole thing. You don't even need to worry about a thing. I will get us there, and I will get us around safely. Anyways, no.

But it does sound cool because you can kind of, you know, wake up and do what you'd like and go where you wanna go and, I guess, not really worry about anyone else's needs. I don't know. I mean, for me, I feel like I've never had any I can't say, I guess, I've never had any difficulty with traveling because you can always have, you know, different preferences. But, yeah, I do feel like it would be a lot of fun to just kind of pick up and go and do your own trip. I have heard that the fact that you're alone and just kind of, yeah, you're literally all alone.

You don't have somebody else to entertain you or to collaborate with. You really end up finding out a lot about yourself, and I think you should do it. And you should definitely let us know how it goes. Okay. The second submission says, in 2025, I'm practicing more self love by treating myself to monthly spa days and weekly digital detoxes.

Okay. Okay. I think a monthly spa day is genius. It's something that I'm also investing in this year is a monthly massage. Yep.

I I know. I got a budget for it, of course. But I've realized that that's something that's so good for you. And for me, I put a lot of stress on my body with weight lifting and whatnot. And so it's also a part of healing your body and taking care of your body.

Anyways, that's my excuse at least. But weekly digital detoxes, I also love. And, you know, maybe I'll implement that as well. Just, you know, a few days a week where you can completely clear your brain and not really be influenced one way or another. Because the thing is is things change so quickly.

And you can get online and see a news update and feel a super strong opinion one day, and then the next day, you see another news update. So your opinion completely changes, and then you're just kind of on this emotional roller coaster all the time. The example that I'm kind of referring to right now is the It Ends With Us drama with Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. I don't know if you know this or not. Sorry.

I know you probably have a job. No. But being real here, there's been news articles that came out, Blake Lively suing Justin Baldoni, and the New York Times put up all of this information, all of these receipts making Justin look like a pretty horrific guy. And so everyone's making all these videos saying, look at this. You know, you always know if a man centers his career on being good to women or if a man's entire identity is all about women, you know that he's hiding something.

So, you know, do with that as you will. I don't really I I'm not gonna be here with an opinion about it. But then, literally, I think it was yesterday or the day before, Blake Lively oh, no. Justin Baldoni came back and is suing the New York Times. I don't think he's suing Blake Lively, but he came back with a whole bunch of receipts as well showing that all of these text messages that Blake Lively had included were missing information or it didn't include all the context.

And so it's just really a lot to be so involved. Listen to me just telling you all of the recent things. I haven't done a weekly Friday recap in a while, so I had to include some sort of pop culture drama there. But it's really easy to kind of flip flop in our mind and to always be creating new opinions, especially with news. I never was one to watch the news or read the news, but TikTok just makes that a lot more easily accessible, and it makes pop culture more accessible and drama.

And I'm like, digital detoxes, less drama, less screen time, more focusing on reality sounds really good. So I think I'm plugging from technology. That's a really good really good way to unwind and to treat yourself without even having to buy anything. Okay. Submission number 3, I'm embracing my inner diva and committing to a year of karaoke.

Every Friday night, I'm taking the stage. Oh my goodness. Go you. I think that it takes so much confidence to perform, especially to perform by yourself. I mean, I can even tell you how nervous sometimes I get to record a podcast, and I'm just sitting in my house by myself with a mic.

Oh my goodness. I do want to do video, but I feel like that's a whole other level of vulnerability, so I haven't done that yet. But, anyways, karaoke, man. That's just a whole another level. So go you.

I wanna know I wanna know where this is. I wanna come watch. I won't be doing it, but my singing career ended when I left the my my wards choir. So yeah. Sorry about that.

Okay. Next submission, number 4. I'm declaring 2025 as my year of no. I'm setting boundaries and prioritizing my mental health. Okay.

This was actually something that I was going to talk about with my own resolutions or intentions or goals, however you wanna spin it, whatever makes you feel the best. And let me see if I can find it. I have it in my notes. So, yeah, one of these big ones with boundaries that I have learned is that boundaries are not for us to impose on other people. Therefore, us to maintain with ourselves.

And for some reason I think Maddie Murphy from the bad broadcast is talking about this recently. For some reason, I always thought that boundaries were something that you set on other people, something that you expressed to others, and you put it on them. And I've learned now over the past year or so that they're not mine to set on other people, but they're mine to keep for myself. And you don't speak it to others. You simply remove yourself from situations where you feel disrespected or icky or unhappy or people you don't wanna be involved with anymore.

And this obviously is tricky with work environments and such, and, you know, there may be situations where you have to express, hey. Don't speak to me like that. I don't allow people to talk to me in a negative way or something along those lines. But I really did use to think that boundaries were mine to impose on other people. You know?

Hey. No. My boundary is this, so don't do that. No. That's not it.

That gives other people the power and takes it away from yourself. You know, boundaries are for us, and they're our responsibility and only ours to maintain. And it might seem overwhelming to think that, to think, okay. I'm in charge of this. But for me, it's brought me a lot of clarity knowing that I am the only one responsible, that I don't have anyone else to blame but myself for putting myself or allowing myself to stay in certain situations.

And when you realize that it is in your control and you can simply remove yourself, that can bring you so much freedom. And so, yeah, I feel like learning that and applying it to saying no, you know, if you actually don't want to do something because you're already booked out or you know it's not gonna be good for your mental health or whatever, I think that that's really good. There's a tricky line to walk between people pleasing and being completely selfish. And I think that's a line that we all try to walk carefully. But I think that if you're if you're, you know, mindful about it, then that already goes to show that you do care about others and that it is okay to say no and to redirect your focus on prioritizing your mental health.

So I love that. Okay. The 5th submission says, I'm experimenting with a new lifestyle. I'm going wait. What is this?

Oh, I'm going vegetarian and documenting my journey. Oh my goodness. Girl, do I have recipes for you? I loved being vegetarian. You will love it too.

I didn't eat meat for, I think, I don't know, 7 years or something like that. I don't actually remember. I need to go back and listen to my other podcast that I did about it. But I think documenting your journey with that is so fun, and it can help other people if they've been wanting to go with less meat even, you know, even if you're not trying to get rid of meat completely, but just trying to find new and exciting meals with higher protein. I think that's great, and I'm so stoked for you that you're documenting it.

So you should definitely message me what your what your account is so that I can go stalk you and look at all your delicious recipes. Okay. Next submission, number 6. I'm all about gratitude this year. I'll be journaling 5 things I'm grateful for every single day.

So gratitude is so important, and I I think that ending or starting your day with gratitude is really impactful, and it can really set the tone for the day. I have definitely been trying to either begin or end the day with several things I'm grateful for. I think I mentioned to you guys that my morning walk each day with crew, I or on my own, I will do, like, a little meditation in my mind, and that's usually when I will do what I'm grateful for. So, yeah, I think that's super awesome. And journaling too.

Oh my goodness. Last year was my year of journaling. Actually, I think I started in 2023. It is so good to journal. I think that everybody should do it, and I am pro journaling.

I don't journal on a piece of paper. I do it in my phone, and that's just something that I've learned works for me. So it might be lame to you, and it might not be real journaling. But I find it a lot easier and less daunting, you know what I mean, to just type something in real quick if you have a thought. I always just put the date, and then I just write out my thought.

I don't even speak in full sentences sometimes, and it's really made it a lot easier to reflect and kind of take a look at, you know, where you were in life, where you are in life, and if you are heading in the direction that you want or not. So I think it's really awesome and intentional. Some go you. Okay. Number 7.

I'm excited to start a podcast in 2025 and share my journey with the world. Oh my goodness. Again, please share it with me. I wanna know what it is. I think podcasting is so fun and I love that it's growing.

I'm 10 year I I felt like when I joined it, I was 10 years too late, but you're never too late for anything. For example, I wanted to have a YouTube channel way back in the day. But when I started it, I thought that I was so behind that I, like, kind of quit too early. You know how that goes. But then literally, who started the next year and then blew up?

Emma Chamberlain. She didn't think it was too late, then she proved that it wasn't. And then even now, people think, oh, well, Emma Chamberlain started, you know, 10 years ago or whatever. It's way too late. I miss the train.

You never miss the train. You never miss the train. It might take you a little bit longer because you, you know, are getting off the train or on the train later than others, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible. And, I mean, I'm sitting here with a podcast, so I'm excited for you. And I think that everyone has a lot of really great things to share.

So I can't wait to hear it if you end up if you end up sharing it. Okay. Submission number 8. 2025 is a year that I'm facing my fear of public speaking, taking a course to get better. Okay.

I feel like this fear is so common. So you're so valid in that. I would share a tip if I had it, but I don't I don't have any public speaking tips. The last time I did public speaking was probably the last time that I sang, and that was in church. So does that even count?

Does that count? I don't know. But, yeah, go you. I'm excited for you. I think taking a course would be so much fun.

Every single day, I'm like, what skill do I wanna learn? Should I just go buy a course? So let me know how it goes for you. Maybe I'll every single submission, I'm like, oh, I should jump on that. Okay.

No. For real. Number 9, this year, I'm hosting a monthly game night with my friends to strengthen my friendships. Okay. This is so fun.

I love playing games. Yeah. It depends on what it is, kind of. And, yeah, I can get a little bit too competitive, but I think that the fact that you are hosting it is so much fun, and it just goes to show how much you value your friendship. So good for you.

I love that. Next one, submission number 10. They say, I'm dedicating this year to reading 100 books and expanding my mind. Oh, a 100 books. Never never in my life have I done that.

That's what? 8 a month? More than a little more than 8 8 a month? That's actually insane. Go you.

That's I wanna know how many books did you read last year in 2024. That's one regret I have is I did not sorry. I'm, like, getting, like, a really dry throat. Let me get a drink of water. Yeah.

Sorry. My voice has not, like, gotten any better since the last time I recorded. I think the sickness is just continually going around, like, all the time. I'm, like, in a bubble of it. Hold on.

Okay. So, wow, I feel so much better already. So, yeah, I want us to talk about this, books. What are your guys' goals? What did you do last year?

I haven't set my goal for this year, and I don't know if I will because last year, my goal is 60 books, and I only read 18. And I was kinda bummed about it, and I actually haven't finished a book. Let me see when the last time I finished a book. June 26, 2024. So I read 18 books up until June 26.

That's sad. That's really sad. I can't make it a full year without reading a book. I really need to get on that. Actually actually, that's not true.

I read a book just recently. No. Yeah. I read one more at the end of 2024. I just didn't put it in Goodreads.

Okay. So I read 19. Still not still not 60, but that's okay. Yeah. I feel like reading is such a nice way to expand your vocabulary, expand your mind, as you said, and I don't know.

I love it. I love reading. So if anyone has any recent recommendations that they wanna share, I'm all ears. Okay. Number 11, I'm going to practice mindfulness daily, setting aside time to meditate and reflect.

Amen. Amen. I love it. I feel like mindfulness meditation, all that kind of stuff, reflecting gratitude. These are the things that really help us stay stay grounded.

So I'm I'm here for it. Okay. Submission number 12. I'm diving into some home projects, transforming my house into a personal sanctuary. Okay.

I feel like any sort of DIYs or home improvement can be really therapeutic up until you begin the project. And then it's like, oh, shoot. Now we don't have cabinet doors. When are we gonna complete this so we can have our cabinets back? No.

I think it's so much fun, and I I'm actually inspired. I haven't done I haven't done anything with my hands in a long time since my last pottery class, you guys. What on earth? I wanna see your DIY project, so please share please share with us. Okay.

Number 13. I'm exploring new hobbies starting with learning the guitar. Okay. Let's go. My sister's also learning the guitar, or maybe my sister's the one that submitted this.

I think it's so fun to learn new things, especially in adulthood. Because I feel like we think that our teens is for exploring sports or music or whatever. And then we turn 18, we get a job, and it's just kinda like, okay. You're set in the skills or talents that you developed for the 1st 18 years of your life. And it's like, no, you're not.

You have another 60, 65 years to live. So I think that's amazing. I really want to get back into playing the piano because I played the piano for 10 years and haven't touched a keyboard in the last 10 years. I wish I was joking. So probably I've lost all my skills, but I do have a keyboard now.

It's just in my storage, so I need to go get it. It's not the same thing, though, as playing on a piano. It's really not. So that's okay. I just gotta get over that mental mental block.

Okay. Next submission. I'm making fitness a priority this year, signing up for a triathlon. Okay. Triathlons are a whole other world.

They are insane, and they take so much skill. So good job running, you know, I've done a half marathon. I've never done a marathon. I'm like, I've done a half marathon. Did it when I was literally 16.

So 11 years ago, I feel like I can't even say that anymore because it's been so long. But triathlons are just crazy because you're swimming, biking, and running. Like, you're switching modalities in one race. And so it it becomes way more complicated of changing and pulling off certain clothes and putting them on and, you know, taking off your wetsuit and then putting on your, your I was gonna say I was gonna say cleats. Your cycling shoes.

What are those called? I'm I'm blanking out. Whatever. And and then this whole time, you're, like, wearing your swimsuit. It's like, oh my gosh.

How uncomfortable. And I don't know. I just feel like it's so cool. It takes so much skill. And if I were to ever do that, I would need to take swimming lessons.

I mean, I know how to swim, but I'm not about to get in there and freestyle looking like a fool. I need I need a little bit more more help with with that to go fast because, yeah, you're a baddie, and congratulations on your goal. You're gonna do amazing, amazing things. Okay. We're almost we're almost getting to the end of your submissions.

So this one is number 15. It says in 2025, I'm focusing on sustainability, reducing my carbon footprint and shopping more ethically. Love this. Love this for you. I, again, for, like, 15th time, I need to do this as well.

I used to be I used to live very sustainably. I did. And and I'm not saying that to brag or anything, but I used to thrift everything I owned. I was plant based for forever. I tried to do this whole zero waste thing, and I don't know.

I think I went too extreme. And so I am inspired to to do it again, but to kinda just do it more mindfully and not so not so what is it called when it's, like, black and white? Not so intense? I don't know what it's called. But, yeah, shopping ethically is a big one.

I did a podcast episode earlier this year about fast fashion and that world, and it's actually so crazy. It's so crazy. And I haven't been thrift shopping in so long, and I actually really miss it because I feel like that's a good time to meditate is when you're thrift shopping. I mean, you can't really have any I'm not gonna say anything that you're looking for because you can have some ideas, but you can you really gotta stay open. And I feel like that's when you find the coolest things.

So, yeah, maybe I'm gonna get myself out to a thrift store. No. I don't need to buy I don't need to buy anything right now. That's one of my goals. I'll share it with you later, but to budget really well.

Okay. This next one, I am focusing on relationships in my life that allow me to show up authentically. Yes. I a lesson I keep learning in my life is that being authentic will keep you in every space that you're meant to be in. And where you're not, it'll reject you.

It'll reject you out of everywhere that isn't for you. So, you know, you can work your entire life for the approval of others and then go to bed at night and not even recognize yourself, or you can be who you are and risk losing relationships. But with the willingness to risk relationships by being authentic, you actually grow closer to those who love you and accept you for who you are. And, you know, people that don't want to change you and they don't want to, I don't know, force their way of life on you or force their opinions or ideas of life or I don't know. Just I think that showing up authentically can be really hard also if you are online a lot because you almost take in so much information, and you're hearing other people's opinions where sometimes it's hard to form your own.

And so that's why I feel like, yeah, that digital detox we talked about earlier is also so important so that you can actually have your own personality and be yourself. And I don't know. Not not to say that if you are online, you don't have your own personality because there are so many people that are so good at, at dividing the 2, you know, especially those who are creators or influencers. A lot of the time, you know, you just go on there and you post and you do your thing, and then they're not on there, like, taking in a whole bunch of content. They're just creating the content.

And I don't know how I got here, but, essentially, showing up authentically. I think that, yeah, focusing on the relationships that allow you to do that and having those boundaries of, yeah, I don't feel good when I'm with this person because they don't they don't value who I am. They're just sitting here trying to force their ideals upon me. Not to say you can't have different opinions. I love a friend who has a completely different mindset or opinion than me.

And, you know, you can just talk about it and learn about each other. But it's about allowing each other to do that without changing them. And I think that that's a beautiful way to I don't wanna say hold space, but it's a beautiful way to have friendships. Okay. Last submission.

It says, in 2025, I am prioritizing honesty with myself and with others. I'm done hiding behind what I think people want me to be, and I'm committed to showing up as my true self no matter how scary or uncomfortable it feels. You know? I think that that's such a brave thing to do because it kinda goes with the authenticity one, you know, hiding behind what you want people to view you as or who you think people want you to be. I mean, we grow up and we grow up in certain cultures or religions or families that really define us.

And then when we're 18, we get thrown out into the world and we have the decision of, okay, but what do I want my life to look like? Do I want to continue this? Okay. Great. Do I not wanna continue this?

Are there are there some things that maybe I don't align with or maybe some toxic generational traits that you want to leave behind? And I don't know. I think that committing to showing up as your true self is scary and uncomfortable and probably won't feel good for a little bit, but it's the brave thing to do and the right thing to do. And, honestly, with myself, this has been a huge theme in my life. And it's scary to face the truth about where you are and what's working and what's not working, but that's the only way to move forward.

And on that note, it's time that I share something that I have been navigating privately, but something that's been shaping every moment of my life, especially going into this new year. So I don't really know how to say this, but I am getting a divorce. Yep. That's right. I am a retired lover girl.

Rest in peace. Oh my goodness. I don't even I was thinking of if I should say this or how I should say it, and I wasn't going to, but I'm going into this new year. I'm literally single for the first time in 11 years. And that's insane.

And I can't like it's changed my entire life, obviously. And I can't act like nothing is happening anymore because my entire life has changed and it's also been several months now since the process, was started. And so I, yeah, I surprise. If you're surprised, that's okay. Even even my mom was surprised.

Everyone, actually. And that's because I've kept my relationship really private. Really private, the whole relationship. I've never spoken to anybody about anything ever, and that's why it it was actually a surprise for for my family. But there are a few reasons we are getting divorced.

But before I share them, there's something you need to know about me. I love being number 1. Okay? Stay with me now. I love winning.

It's a part of being the oldest in my family. Okay? It's come with sports. I'm very naturally competitive even in music, even with piano and performing, even though there was never even a placement or a trophy for performing my performances when I performed with piano or the viola, I was still so ready to show up and do the best that I could. And so not only getting to the point here.

Not only did I have to become the 1st granddaughter to get married in my family on my dad's side and on my I don't even wanna say it. On his side, I thought, you know, why not be the 1st granddaughter to get divorced on both sides? Checkmate. I win. No.

I'm just kidding. The number 1 the second one the second reason is the number 1 month for filing for divorce is in January. So you know that I had to be in that number one category. Okay. And then 3rd, I heard there's nothing more chic than being divorced before 30 and proving everybody that said you shouldn't get married as a teen.

Right. So yeah. Is this funny or is it not funny? All jokes aside, I know that this is a surprise. Believe me, I'm I'm I'm surprised as well.

Never never in my life did I ever see myself here, but I also know there's a lot of you who already know. And that's because there's been a lot of public things that have happened and they began very quickly in the beginning of this process. And though it might man, I'm like, why am I getting emotional at this part? You know, it it might seem like I share a lot about myself and my life. And I do, but I keep a lot a lot, a lot, very private, too much maybe, but I'm typically really good at hiding my feelings and experiences.

And while I don't wanna have this first episode of the year and all depressing, and I don't want to rerecord this even though I feel like I already should, this is just what I've been going on what what's been going what I've been going through the past few months. I was listening to my last episode, and I just kind of realized how tired I sound and monotone and kinda boring. And I just wanna say thank you for listening anyways because while I'm, like, really, really good at hiding things, I like to think. I'm pretty tired, and it's become a lot harder to hide, going into the end of the year. And I don't want to come into this year being being fake or I mean, I'm not I'm not gonna sit here and, like, you know, give you all the details, but by any means, I'm not I'm not doing that.

But this is a big change in my life. And, you know, I won't be sharing a lot about my divorce today. This year or actually the last 2 years have been a lot. I'm mourning the death of someone who's very much alive. Jeez.

Sorry. It's just this last year. Yeah. I felt like I've lost everything, and it truly is unbelievable how much heartbreak a person can survive without actually dying? And I have to believe that just because the universe or God or whoever you wanna place there is opening up a space in my life for what my soul truly needs.

And I'm not saying a person. I'm just saying I'm I've lost a lot of things, a lot of relationships, and my entire future, you know, is gone, the one that I've envisioned for the last 11 years. But going into 2025, I'm not going to sit around and wait for life to happen to me anymore. You know, I've kind of been in the back seat of my life for a really long time, and I've done it very willingly. And it worked until it stopped working.

I'll be turning 28 in February. But if I'm being honest, I feel like an adult for the very first time in my life. And I'm now leading my life myself, and I'm in charge of my own future now. I just want to this this year, I wanna become a lot more brave. I wanna be a lot more confident in myself because, man, has my has that been difficult for me?

I my brain has been quite blurry, it feels like. And I really want to be able to articulate myself a lot better. I wanna feel clear headed once again, and those are a few things that I'm really going to be focusing on this year. And I will share I will share that I love this person and probably always will. You know?

It it just wasn't working, and I can count on one hand on one hand the people that know the intimate details of our separation and in our marriage, and I don't intend to share that anytime soon. There is, though, something that I really do feel the need and desire to express because, unfortunately, there has been misinformation spread. And if you know anything about me, it's that I don't like to be misrepresented or misunderstood. And that is that the reason for divorce is that I don't want kids. That's not the truth and actually couldn't be further from the truth.

And I don't even know why I'm sharing this because if you're a listener of this podcast, you know that I want kids. You know I want my own children one day. You know that failing means everything to me. I'm the oldest of 5 kids, and I've played a huge role essentially as their second mom in my life. I've been one of the primary caretakers of my grandparents for the last 8 years.

I didn't wanna be a teen mom. That is true. I was a teen bride. I didn't wanna be a teen mom. But I don't believe that having kids is something to just tick off the box, and I've been very intentional with that decision, but I did, and I do want children.

I don't know if that'll happen now. I might die an old maiden. And I know I don't need to explain myself, so I won't any further. But that has been something that's been weighing on my chest, and, wow, it feels good to clear the clear the air on that. So, yes, thank you.

The last question that I will address because weirdly enough, I've already received this question many times, which is kind of the biggest mind f to me, and that is if I'm dating or interested in dating. That's a hard no. I've only ever had one love in my life, and I've been doing life with that person for the last 11 years, and they're gone now. And I'm not mentally in a space to even have that desire to open myself up to anybody. And at this space and time, I have such a hard time even envisioning any sort of future with anybody.

That's not my focus. I am first and foremost focused on healing myself and moving in a way that will provide me with peace and safety and love. And you know that trend? The the trend that says, the gardeners have planted white roses when I specifically asked for red. Well, you could always paint the roses red.

Well, what an odd thing to say. Well, that's how it feels whenever I get asked that question. I mean, I don't know. I'm sure it's asked in good good intentions, but I don't want that question in my DMs. So I'm just letting you know, no, I'm not dating.

You know, life life is crazy. And if you would have told me a year ago that I'd be here actually, I might have believed you a year ago, but 2 years ago 2 years ago, no way. To not even to end today's episode because I'm not gonna end it here. I'm gonna I'm gonna bring the mood up a little bit for the end, but I just wanna say thank you. There's been many people in my life, some acquaintances, some people I haven't heard from in a long time, and, you know, some lifelong friends that have reached out to me over these past few months to show their support, and I've really appreciated it.

And I know that sometimes you don't know what to say to someone or you might feel awkward or intrusive, but there's never a bad time to tell someone that you love them and to tell someone that you care and support them. And I've been really happily I don't know if I can say happy, but I've been really surprised and grateful to have those random messages and calls from people who have noticed or seen what's happening. And I just wanna say thank you. You've kept me afloat through some of those painful some of the most painful experiences the most painful experience that I've had in my life so far. And I just wanna say to everybody, like, thank you for listening to the podcast.

I know that I've had low energy, and I haven't brought my best self forward in a long time. And so I do appreciate that because I know I'm aware. I'm aware. And, you know, moving into 2025, I I'm I'm gonna work on that. Okay?

But, really, this year is gonna hold so many firsts for me, and so that is why I'm telling you that today. This has been in the works since I moved here, back to Utah mid October. Not even mid October, like, the 1st week of October. So it's been several months, and I don't even there's never a good time to, like, tell people that you're getting a divorce. But, again, this year's gonna be different from anything I've ever experienced, and my life is completely different now.

And so I I feel like I can't really show up on the podcast withholding something like that close to my chest. So, yeah, thank you for giving me the space to to express that. Yeah. Thank you. So moving into 2025, I'm trying to reflect on any goals I might have, whether you wanna call it resolutions or intentions or mindsets.

Can we be honest? They're all, like, synonyms for each other at the end of the day, and they mean the same thing. Okay? I think sometimes we get caught up on the wording, and I don't set resolutions, or I don't set goals, or I do this instead, or I do that instead. I think the difference is simply how you go about it.

I mean, last year, my goals or mindsets or intentions were very much productivity driven. And, obviously, I wasn't in the space to be able to be as productive and efficient in my goals career wise or or anything like that that I'd hoped to be. It was kind of a year of just surviving, and I'm proud of myself for that. So I'm coming into this next year not with any hard numbers or anything because there's already gonna be naturally so much change that is happening and will continue to happen. So I have a few thoughts on how I wanna move forward through this next year and the energy that I will be bringing into 2025, if you will.

And that is my definition of success. It's something that I've been redefining, and I talked about this a little bit in my episode called the Myth of Nonstop Hustling. And sorry. My nose is running. But my definition of success has really changed a lot.

What I wrote down for 20 25's definition of success is that it's to go through life's difficult changes and to go through life and not give up, I think finding success in this next year for me is facing every challenge head on and to not run away from it and to do the things that do scare me because it's inevitable. You know? Whether it's today or in 5 years, you you have to you have to face each challenge head on. And so my definition of success is just pushing through. It's not any monetary numbers or anything or, you know, reaching new heights in traveling or things like that.

But I do have some goals along those, and so I'll share them. Money. Let's talk about money goals even though I just told you I don't have any solid numbers. But for the first time, you know, in 8 years, I'm responsible solely for my finances. And I did get a budgeting app, which I think I told you guys in the last episode.

That's the thing is I'm, like, trying to talk about, you know, life and and podcasts and stuff, and it's like, the things that I'm going through right now are very are very you know, they're pertaining to the fact that I now live by myself for the first time in 8 years. Actually, my sister just moved in with me, but we can talk about that later because that's something that's really exciting. Anyways, I'm responsible for my finances. So I got this budgeting app, which I'm really excited about because I have just always you know, that's always been it's never been my responsibility to keep track of. I I always, you know, maintain the budget, and we would talk about that and whatnot, but I never was in charge of any of that.

And so I am now in charge of it, and I'm pretty stoked. And my goal for this year is to start saving for retirement and to learn how to invest. Yep. I know. I sound like a tool, but, you know, it's necessary if I don't wanna work for the next 50 years, especially in this economy in this economy.

Like, are you kidding? So if you have any resources with with, retirement and whatnot, I'm I'm I'm serious. I I would love it because I'm still trying to decide which route I wanna go or if there's multiple routes. I'm like, k. Do I start do I jump in the S and P 500?

Do you do brokerage? Do you do the Roth IRA? Are those all the same thing? You know what I mean? So yeah.

Anyways, if you have any any money tips, shoot them my way because I'm learning. I'm on Reddit. I'm researching. But I love to know what those of what those of you what you guys have found successful. Again, sorry, my brain.

The next thing that I'm moving into 2025 with is with relationships and that talk of boundaries that I was mentioning earlier. And the fact that it's our responsibility and ours to maintain. And, yeah, it can be overwhelming, you know, if you have relationships that you are not satisfied with and you I mean, I I think it's always okay to have conversations and whatnot. But at the end of the day, it's our boundaries, and we don't have anyone else to blame but ourselves. And that is, at the end of the day, what does bring us freedom is taking that ownership.

So next one is my mentality that I'm trying to bring into this new year is to not compare myself. I never really have. I mean, at least for the last, I don't know, 5, 6, 7 years, I never really did until this last year when I realized how, like, deeply unhappy I was, and that's no surprise I've talked about depression and my struggle with mental health and whatnot. But I used to I used to compare myself to people's success on, let's say, Instagram or social media or YouTube or whatever, and I always felt like they achieved it really quickly. Or maybe it's, you know, maybe they're posting on Instagram, but it's about their business or about their brand or whatever, a new venture, or maybe it's even their skills of pottery.

Right? I think I compare myself that way with, oh my goodness. How do they how are they so good so fast? But I'm trying to rephrase that in my mind to feel inspired. You know, if they can do it, why can I?

If all these people, 100 of 1000 of people, millions of people maybe, have done it before me, then I certainly can. And the next part of that is, obviously, it's hand in hand, and it's self belief. I really wanna trust myself and know myself, and I feel like I've just questioned myself for way too long. And I'm not doing that anymore. You know?

We're we're not doing that. I have been in therapy weekly since February or March. And so I've been doing the work, and I've really been coming into into knowing myself. But I like, there's so much further to go. I don't know myself without this other person.

You know? I haven't been alone in 11 years, and I am obviously different now from when I was 16. And so I guess it's just kind of rediscovering who I am and what I want in life. And while it can feel really heavy a lot, it it does feel exciting sometimes. Usually, I'm not excited.

Usually, I'm just sad, but I do have hope at the end of the day. You know what I mean? And it it is something that I do want to create new opportunities for myself. Okay. Next one is hobbies.

In 2024, I really got into ceramics and pottery, and I did several 6 week courses at the community college in Asheville, North Carolina. And I really enjoyed that a lot, and I don't wanna let that go because, unfortunately, my projects and and everyone's projects at the studio that I was renting at I was renting a wheel at this cute little pottery studio. Well, it got flooded, and everything got destroyed and and lost and whatnot. And I haven't touched a wheel since then. Honestly, it's really expensive in Utah.

I don't know if that's because Asheville is, like, a really big hub for potters and ceramics, and they, you know, produce clay and whatnot. And so it's just something that a lot of people do, so they have to make it more affordable because there's lots of competition. But, oh my goodness, I have been looking at classes here in Salt Lake, and they're so expensive. I'm like, excuse me. You're gonna charge me $400 for 4 weeks of a class with 2 hours per per lesson.

That's just kinda crazy. So I don't know. If you have any recommendations of of for that in Salt Lake or the general area, I would really appreciate it. Next one is travel plans. I don't have any solo trips planned at the moment, but I would really like to.

I I think I would really like to take a solo trip and, you know, obviously, out of the country because I just feel like I've flown so much in the States where it's I I I don't it's nothing crazy to fly on my own and but it would be crazy going to a different country by myself, I feel like. I feel like that would be really empowering and really cool. So that is kind of the goal, I guess, that I do have. And then, creatively creatively, I want to continue with this podcast, I think. Some days, I don't know because it's just I know that I am in this weird space right now where life is, like is just is just really heavy, and I don't wanna bring that energy on on online on a podcast.

So I'm just really trying to to define what that means, if that makes sense. But I do love podcasting, and I do love sharing about your guys' experiences and the experiences that make us feel unrelatable and not, I don't know, just maybe not as comfortable moving throughout the world. And because I feel like when you do share your story, when you do talk about things that you go through, it makes it a lot easier to feel less alone and to have support and whatnot. And so I do love the premise, but I I don't want to I don't I just don't wanna, like, bring any any negative energy or anything. And yeah.

So I've been kinda just thinking about that and assessing that. And because I know that if I wanna continue and if I do wanna make something out of the podcast, I need to start doing video. But being on video is really vulnerable, especially when when you're just, like, have poofy eyes all day every day. So I just don't want the dramatics. I know.

I know. It's okay. I'll stop. I just don't want to, like, be on camera all the time, but maybe I should just do it anyways. I don't know.

I don't know. So those are the things that I'm thinking about. And I know a lot of people feel like, you know, New Year's is dumb. Why not change any other day of the year? You know, why wait?

But in my opinion, I think that people don't wait. I think people continually try every day, but the New Year is is representative of fresh beginnings. I mean, if you think about it, all of the major holidays are all before New Year's, and that brings a lot of difficult and hard times for a lot of people, whether it's monetarily or relationships or heartbreak or death, or maybe you lose yourself in your habits. And it's even change in the seasons. You know, everything dies.

It's a rebirth. And, you know, lots of divorces are filed in January. Just I just feel like we gotta let people redefine their lives if they want to. And I think that the reason why also, if anyone's curious about why the most divorces are filled in January, it's for taxes. Okay?

It's for taxes if you were ever wondering. It actually makes a lot of financial sense to not get divorced in the middle of the year, apparently. And I didn't know this, but, yeah, I guess it just ended up working out that way. Anyways, I know that people associate New Year's goals or resolutions or intentions with fleeting motivation and unfulfilled promises, and, you know, there's lots of reasons for that. Many people set resolutions in their past and failed to follow through, and that can create doubt in your own ability.

So then it's kinda like, well, why would I set that if I know I'm gonna fail or I failed in the past? And they can feel rigid. They can feel unrealistic. It can lead to burnout or guilt. I felt that after posting my January goals and oh my goodness.

I felt so much guilt for not achieving lots of those things for a lot of the year until I was learning in therapy. Like, that's not your focus right now. Your focus is this, and I don't know. I know it can also feel glamorized. New Year's resolutions can feel performative.

That may make it feel inauthentic for you, or I don't know. And I know that a lot of times it feels like, well, why make these goals? You know, vague goals can fail because they lack actionable steps. But I think that if we focus on the intention of the goals instead of perfection, it can really free us to create that meaningful life change or many of them. And one of the ways that I think we can do that is to treat resolutions or to treat goals or whatever.

You know what I'm saying. They're all synonyms within each other. Alright? They're all synonyms. We got this.

Treating resolutions like an experiment rather than an ultimatum. Instead of saying something like, I will work out 4 times a week this year, instead say, you know, I'm exploring how I can move my body more this year and seeing what feels right for me. The second way that I think that we can, you know, focus on the intention of the goals instead of perfection is to make them fluid. Let them evolve and change as the year progresses. And I know that was a huge focus of my last episode.

Or sorry, not my last one, but my episode last year was dividing the year into quarters as businesses do to hit your goals. But I'm not a business, especially this year. I have no business treating myself with that much intensity. I think I need anything else but that. So being fluid and flexible creates a much better mindset.

And the next way I think that we can have successful wins is to celebrate the small wins, is to break down the bigger goals into smaller milestones. And instead of, you know, saying an overwhelmingly financial goal of, like, I don't know, I'll save $10,000 in retirement this year, You you could start with, I'll put away a minimum of 500 this month and see what I can do next month. The next thing is that I've found helpful is to tie resolutions to your deeper purpose or, as others say, your why, and I kinda hate that quote. I hate saying, like, find your why because I feel like it's been so overused. I don't wanna have a why anymore.

I don't have a why. All my why's are gone. Just kidding. But an example I've shared before is having a goal if you have a goal in fitness, having it outside of aesthetics or weight is usually more motivating. So something like, I wanna feel more energetic for my kids, or I'm doing this so that my children have a good example in their life so that they can already know and practice good habits instead of having to teach themselves like I had to do or something like that.

And then if you don't have kids, of course, it can be, I wanna be able to hike this mountain. I wanna be able to go on a trip and not worry about how many flights of stairs there will be, which I don't know if that's even possible. Because when I went to Italy last year, I had been doing the Stairmaster a lot, and I still died on those stairs. The Amalfi Coast has no business having as many stairs as they do. Okay.

The next way I feel like we can find success is in our goals is having community and friends to do it with. It can be really isolating when you're on your own. And for an example, if your goal is to read 1 book a month, let's join a book club. That's so much more fun. Or having a friend to start your fitness journey with or someone to keep you accountable to not slip into bad habits you're trying to outgrow.

And believe me, having a community to support you is hard. It's hard because it means you actually have to open up and be vulnerable. I hate asking for help. It's one of my biggest weaknesses. And not to say that, like, I'm doing a great job on my own.

Not not at all. It's just more like it's easier to just put on a smile and pretend that you're doing life great, but I don't think that's what life is all about. It's about having connections and true relationships and feeling loved, safe, and valued. And a part of being able to share with people is having that safety within your relationships too. So if you don't have that, then creating those relationships yeah.

There's been lots of lessons that we learned in 2024. And if you also had a rough time or hard year, my heart goes out to you. When hard things happen, whether it's death, divorce, loss, or anything else, I don't think that it's about just getting over it. I'm learning that it's about learning how to live with the ache while building a life that feels steady again. And I think it's also easy to feel upset or to feel angry, to feel like life is unjust and unfair.

And so a quote I'll leave you with that resides in the forefront of my mind says, quote, in order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that have shaped you. And I want you to know that my DMs are always open. Or if you wanna share anonymously or anything like that, I do have a link in my bio for that. I just want you to know that you don't have to go through hard times on your own and that at any point, it doesn't have to be the new year, obviously. But it is, you know, representative of fresh beginnings and fresh starts.

And so that's what I am really harnessing this year. Thank you so much for listening and for bearing with me as I continue through this transition in my life. You know, I have no idea what it looks like or what this year will bring, but I do have a lot of hope that it'll be exactly what I need it to be. I will talk to you all very, very soon. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Unrelatable podcast.

Byeeeeee