The Unrelatable Podcast

The Regret Report

Hannah Feldt Episode 70

Of course, we don’t want to dwell on our regrets. But there’s no harm in sharing the things we wish we’d done differently—and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. The Regret Report is all about honest conversations and real takeaways.

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Hi, hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Unrelatable podcast. I am little bit sick right now, and so that's why my voice is a little bit scratchy. And, yes, I might have a few sounds of cars in the background because I am now a city girl. If you didn't know that, I moved back to Utah and downtown Salt Lake City to be exact.

And so that comes with some city sounds, so I'm sorry if you end up hearing any of that. But today's episode is going to be called the not going to be called. It is called the regret report, and it's essentially things that you guys submitted that you regret, positive, negative, as in negative things you regret, but positive outcomes or things that you have learned. And I'm really excited for this episode, so I hope that you are too. And with that, welcome back to another episode of the Unrelatable podcast.

I am going to already start off this episode by saying, of course, of course, we have no regrets. Right? We don't wanna live our life with regrets, but, of course, there are things that we probably wish we would have handled differently, or maybe there's things that we wish that we would have known when we were younger. And so I just hate it when people are like, I don't regret anything. And I'm like, okay, mister.

I'm pretty sure you probably regret one thing. You can't tell me you have not been rude to a person or you made a mistake that caused you a ticket. Like, come on now. So, yeah, those are that's kind of the energy that we're going into this with is, of course, we live and we learn. It is what it is.

Everything happens for a reason. Whatever you whatever you like, whatever you say, yes. That that is yes. We apply that here. We apply that now.

These are just fun and not I mean, I guess some of them are some of them are more deep than others, but they're all lessons to be learned at the end of the day. So that's why I thought this would be a fun episode to do. And, yeah, again, sorry for my voice, but let's jump right into it. This submission says, I regret caring so much about what other people think and for holding myself back for so long. This one is really real.

It's really, really real because I don't know. I think it's the age of 12, 13, you know, when we enter 6th 7th grade where all of our authenticity, all of our kinks and quirks the kinks. Oh my gosh. That's not the word I meant to say. All of our quirks are we start getting made fun of for them.

Right? Or you start to notice maybe other people getting made fun of for them. And so then maybe you start to dim yourself down. And it's not like it gets any better because it just continues on into junior high and then in high school. And I am one of those people that severely cared way too much about what other people thought about me, and it caused me to do many things.

It caused me to spend time with people that didn't care about me, number 1. Number 2, it caused me to spend time with people that were not good for my heart and my soul not to be dramatic. And it also it kind of had me let go of people that were actually really good people and people that I actually did feel loved by all because I cared about really superficial stupid things, like like boys. Why was I so boy crazed in in high school? And I'm not just saying that to say it, but I don't know.

I was just so like, I think it's because I grew up and the boys, they never liked me. Literally, I was a little weirdo and nobody liked me. I liked so many guys and they always picked the prettier girl, and it was really infuriating. It always made me feel super less than. And so then I think when I did start getting attention, when I, I think, transferred schools because people were like, oh my gosh.

Where are you from? And, of course, when you when you're a new girl, that, like, adds an extra 10 points of attraction to you because you're just, like, new and exciting. Right? It doesn't even mean that you are, per se, cuter than other people. It's just that you're new.

I think that's something that guys have. And it was just frustrating because, first of all, I wasn't new. I just wasn't there for literally 1 year. I was just always weird. And in that 1 year that I left, I went to a private school where I got even weirder, but I think I got all of it out there.

Not all of it out, but I think I got a lot of the what is it called when you were, like, angsty? Yeah. That was my angst year. It was my was my, year at Thomas Edison Private School. I had to wear collared shirts and outfits, and there were no sports, and there were no cute boys.

And I cut my hair into a bob. There were a lot of things wrong during that time in my life. But yeah. So I regret jumping into high school, having the attention from really just not even high quality people and thinking that those were the people that were important to impress. And, anyways, I'm coming full circle to this because you said you regret caring so much about what other people think and for holding yourself back for so long.

And that's something that really we can do that for our entire lives, whether it is people in church or whether it's your parents, your siblings, or your friends. It really is true that your friends can make or break you. The people that you spend the most time around matter so much. And there's this quote, or maybe it's not a quote. I don't know even think I can quote it.

But there's the people that you hang out with, and they talk about everybody else. That's one that's one level of a friend. The second level of a friend is the person that you talk about things with. And then the third level, the one that I aspire to be is the person where you talk about ideas. So, again, one group, you talk about other people.

The second group, you talk about things. And the 3rd group, you talk about ideas. And when you find the people that talk about ideas, I feel at least that I feel the most inspired and excited and, like, really recharged after spending time with people where you talk about ideas. You're not sitting there talking about people. People.

You're not talking about materialistic things and this and that and what you're lacking and what you still want and this and whatever else, but you're talking about ideas and philosophizing. Is that is that a word? Just really thinking about the world, and I'm not saying ideas as in politics, but just I think you get what I'm saying. And it just really can propel you towards following your dreams or towards holding yourself back. And so go you.

You're on on the way to it because I feel like once you realize these things, once you realize, oh my gosh. I regret doing this. That's when you are really conscious about it, and that's when you end up changing things. Okay. This one says, I regret having insecure and negative thought patterns, but I've learned to deal with them as I wanted to stop stunting my development as a person.

Okay. I feel like regretting that is hard because I feel like negative and insecure thought patterns are learned. And maybe maybe the other one is too. Maybe, you know, having having too much care about what other people think and holding yourself back are also things that are learned as well. But, yeah, being able to reframe your mindset is so underrated, and I don't want this episode to be super you know, let's just be self empowered, self motivated, hustler entrepreneurs who own multilevel marketing companies.

It's not what I'm saying. But, yeah, I just think that it is so true how we can kinda get down on ourselves when we are already down on ourselves, and that doesn't help. What does help is getting out of bed, getting into some kind of routine, whether that's working out for 20 minutes or cooking yourself a good breakfast. You know what I'm saying? Okay.

Going to the next one. This one says, I regret not investing a small amount of every paycheck from the very beginning with my very first job. Yes. I do too. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that investing your money and saving your money is extremely useful and helpful.

I think there's a calculator online where you can put in if you put in your money into an S and P 500, if you max it out every year, I think it's an S and P 500. Is that what it is? Where the max is, I think, $2,000. Anyways, if you max it out every year from the age of 18, I think in 50 years, you have a $1,000,000. Who out of any of us, please raise your hand if you had $2,000 of extra savings every year since you're 18 years old?

Not me. But, yeah, that is something that is one of my goals for 2025 is to really get down on good budgeting and good finances. Okay. This next one says, I regret not immediately severing relationships when they became when they become toxic. This one's so difficult because a lot of times, it's, you know, hindsight is 2020, and you really just don't know.

You have no idea that it's a toxic friendship until you're so far into it where you look out and you're like, what is going on? What is happening here? My boundaries are being crossed. You are probably people pleasing and taking so much better care of the other person than they're taking care of you. It's never too late to take a step back.

And to number 1, either have a conversation or number 2, just go ghost. Just kidding. I'm not telling you to to ghost people, but that is that is real when you when you stick in toxic relationships for a long time because that can really end up hurting your mental health, and I feel you there. This one says, I really regret not wearing sunblock in my twenties. You know, I'm approaching my thirties.

I'm approaching my thirties, and happy to say I wear sunblock. It is the one on TikTok shop, the Josephine or whatever, Korean skin care sunscreen. Let me put you on that. And, also, if you are self tanning, you will be submitting a regret report to me in the next 5 years when you develop skin cancer. So please stop it right now.

Please, please, please stop it now. This is something that has been studied, and we're done. We are done. Okay. This one says, I regret not traveling overseas.

Well, guess what? You still have plenty of time. And, honestly, I know that so many people are climbing the corporate ladder, getting married, having kids, all these things, and just know that all of those are also the right thing. Oftentimes, we're on social media and we see another person's life and we think, oh, how did they figure out that that was the right way to do things? I wish I would have known 10 years ago that that was the correct path because they're obviously happy.

I think we forget that there's so so many ways to feel happiness. There's so many routes to feel those things that bring us happiness in our day to day lives. I mean, for example, I was watching one of my friends' TikToks the other day, and she took her son to Disneyland. And it's like she's traveling the world with her and seeing it through her son's eyes. I I don't know what that feels like.

Does that mean I'm wrong for not having kids yet? No. Does that mean she's wrong for, you know I mean, actually, she is traveling and traveling with her kids. So I don't know what I was gonna say there. But there's so many ways that we can compare ourselves of, oh my gosh.

I wish I would have traveled more when I was younger, but it's like, okay. Listen. Money, time, college, family, especially living in Utah, we got so many pressures. And so I know it can feel easy to regret things like not traveling, but listen, we are so young. We've got all the time in the world.

Okay. This one looks like it's more of a tip, and it says, if you're in your mid twenties and you can afford it, travel. Look at that. No one regrets traveling in their youth. Everyone who's traveled enjoys those memories.

Amen. That's what we're saying. This next one says, talk to all strangers and people. Talking to anyone, anywhere opens up the world. I love this because I've had some of the most interesting conversations in my life in other countries with typically taxi drivers because, oh my gosh, there was one taxi driver we had that fought in the war in Afghanistan and aided the US soldiers.

And the president literally, they drove the president or maybe not the president. Look at me. I literally I don't know what I'm talking about. Everything I just said could be false. It could have been, like, Uzbekistan or something or Kazakhstan.

I have no idea. But, essentially, this man, he was our taxi driver, had done so much good for the world and had literally protected his family, his home, and his country, and had so many medals. He showed us all these pictures. And I'm just like, you are an incredible person, and I never would have been able to know this or thank you or anything if you wouldn't have shared this little bit of your life and if you wouldn't have had that picture of you on your dashboard. And it's it's the same thing in Thailand.

We had a driver, and he told us all about his family and how he would go to Bangkok for 6 months of the year when the tourists would come and he works, and then he sends the money there, and they live on this rice farm. And the world really just becomes expanded. And I I guess I can add a regret of mine in there, which is I regret that I kind of feel really resistant to getting to know people. I don't know why. This is kind of something that I have developed more in the last few years, and I think it's because I just have more anxiety around meeting people.

I have more anxiety around, I think, myself, and I don't know what it is. These are things that I'm working on, but I kind of close myself off to meeting new people. I kinda close myself off to strangers and people just out in the world. I want to become better at talking to people. Why do I feel like in the last, like, 2 years that my social skills have just gone down the drain.

I don't know what it is, but sometimes I'll be at Trader Joe's, and I'll be checking out. And I just I wanna have a conversation with the cashier, but I'm at a loss for words. I'm actually at a loss for words. And so I don't know. I I want to become better at that.

And I think that one thing that, again, ties us all together are commonalities. And just being able to find commonalities are really, really things that can connect us with each other, but it's hard when you don't know someone to find, you know, a commonality. And sometimes you say something and or you ask them something and they say, nope. And they just give you a closed ended answer. And so it's kind of hard to lead on conversations.

But I I probably what I need to do is the practice of rejection where you actively put yourself in situations where people reject you. They'll say no because you ask them something ridiculous. Have you ever heard of that before? It's a challenge of some kind. I would rather die.

I would rather catch a flame and then melt down into the sewer system and be living in the sewer for the rest of my life rather than have to experience that. But that's what I need. That's what I need to do. Okay. This one says, you will regret less as you get older.

Oh my goodness. We have someone wise. We have someone wise here. You understand that some things were just a part of the process and certain things are bound to happen anyways. So you push on because looking back is really nothing to look back on.

It's just reliving moments in your head. You can't physically go back to the past to live there. You just erode your brain with obsession. Prioritize having a solid foundation. Save up, find a really good hustle, and don't get caught up in the microwave society that we live in today.

Save up and invest in a plan. Thank you for whoever said this because this is so impactful. And I think that it's really hard not to live in the past when you're currently disappointed at where you are because you're just thinking, you know what? If I would have done this, then maybe things would have turned out differently. But it's true.

Life is like a river, and it carries you where you need to go. And being able to sit in it and to sit in the flow and to work with it ends up helping us so much more. Okay. The submission says, I wish that I had learned to love myself much younger. That would have poured into so many decisions and spared me from waste wasting time on people who derailed my goals.

Again, being able to love yourself, I feel like is at the root at a lot of this. Because when we are not happy with ourselves, a lot of times we end up making decisions under pressure or doing things that we think other people will accept. And that can lead you down a very long and lonely road where at the end, you won't even recognize where you are or the person that you've become. And so I I think, yeah, learning to love yourself is something that you kind of do all the time, especially as you're getting older and you're changing. It's kind of a constant thing and it's never ending, and it's kinda beautiful.

Okay. This one says, dental hygiene. I regret not flossing every day, but at least I started now. That's so real. That's so real.

I feel like when you're a kid, they make it seem so important. And then, I don't know, give us some good reasons. I mean, I can't say that I haven't been, brushing my teeth and doing all the things, but amen to that one. This one says, I regret not focusing on school. Sorry.

I'm tripping over my words. Not focusing on school. I partied too much in college and ended up getting really bad grades. Wasted a lot of money going back to school and redoing it only to come out and not love my job. Yeah.

See, that is disappointing. But guess what? It points you in a direction in your future where if you would not have gone to school, if you would have not gotten the degree, you probably would have wondered what life would have been with it, and you probably would have fantasized life being better that way. I try to think about life in this sense because I have tried and quit a lot of things in my life, and I try not to regret it because it has led me to where I am now. But, you know, I went to college, and then I failed the semester.

So then I ended up going back, and I joined the ROTC, and then I quit the ROTC. And then I tried personal training, and then I quit it. And then I tried group fitness training, and I enjoyed it. And then I did permanent makeup, and I loved it. I did.

I really loved it. And then I began teaching permanent makeup, and I loved it. But then my wrist ended up completely injured and dysfunctional. And so now I'm here. I'm here now.

And well, sorry. My voice. I am doing social media management. And you know what? It's fun.

I love working from home. And am I gonna do this forever? Probably not. But if I do, cool. Because it leaves room in my life for other things.

And I've realized that the people who figured it out can we just give teachers a lot of credit right now? Because I feel like anybody who is a teacher figured out the secret sauce first. They looked at that career field. They saw it didn't make a huge amount of money, but they did it for the passion. And they did it at least this is what I'm thinking.

They did it because they genuinely love the subject, and they love kids. And that's a job that I feel like is genius because it changes all the time. So you're never gonna be bored. You get the entire summer off. Why did nobody put into my I guess it's not too late.

I could always become a teacher. But why did nobody tell me, Hannah, get it into your brain. If you work corporate job or if you work for yourself or if you are a nurse or anything, you are going to have to work all year long. But if you're a teacher, you get off the summer, and you basically get paid for it. You I mean, that's why you're getting paid, you know, anywhere from 50 to $90,000.

You're not working 4 months out of the year. That's genius. You get to travel. Your job your job changes constantly because the kids are always changing. Oh my goodness.

And you can just invest. I've said this a 1000000 times, but, yeah, I remember listening to a radio and it was I forget his name. Anyways, he was interviewing some teachers and they were millionaires and all they did was invest their money. That's all they did. And they were millionaires and it's like anyone can be successful at any income if you're smart with your money, but it does pay to have a job that you enjoy and that you love.

And so, again, I really admire any and all of you that are teachers. Good job. I'm proud of you because it is a very selfless job. And you decided to do that when you were super young. And I think that's really cool.

Okay. Sorry. This is so random. This one says, I regret not studying enough and slacking away at college. Yeah.

Those experiences were nice, but it would have been sufficient to party once a month instead of twice a week. This is true. It is not very good for the health. It's not very good for the brain, but that's okay. At least we learn.

You know what I mean? Okay. This one says, I regret not coloring my hair crazy colors while I could without repercussions. This is so real. This is so real.

Except for I did kind of color my hair crazy. I guess not crazy colors. I bleached my bangs by myself. Yeah. It was during my emo phase that I had.

Let's not talk about it. Maybe I will do an episode one day about emo Hannah, but she was crazy. She dyed her bangs. They were just blonde, like a yellow bleached blonde. But, hey, it's okay.

It's okay. I I think that it would have been fun to, yeah, have some, like, pink hair. Pink hair is fun. Blue hair is fun. I miss those feathers.

Remember when we would put feathers in our hair? Okay. I'm gonna give you a regret. One of my regrets is dyeing my hair. Is bleaching the f out of my hair?

Who let who let high school Hannah try to go Carol Carol Lauren? Is that her name? Carol Lauren, gray, icy, white, blonde. When I was in high school, I was trying to achieve this super bleached bleached icy hair color, and I destroyed my hair. Destroyed it.

Oh, it was so bad because my roots, keep in mind, are very dark. I was born with black hair. Okay? And then it lightened up a little bit, but my hair is actually really dark, And I'm dark again. I know.

It's pretty crazy. I'm trying to really be my natural self. I'm trying to basically be okay with my natural hair color because I have never not been disappointed in my hair texture and the quality that my hair has been giving. I have very badly sorry. This is a rant, but my hair is a little bit wavy.

And so because of that, it's very textured and air dry is really terribly. Anyways, long story short, bleach just has destroyed my hair, and I have continually bleached it my entire life. Anyways, I'm done now. I'm done. And if I ever talk about doing it again on the podcast, someone please just send me this episode.

And, Hannah, don't do it. Listen to me right now, Hannah. You do not wanna bleach your hair. First of all, it costs a ton of money. 2nd of all, you've worked so hard to get your hair to the point it's at now.

Okay. Thank you very much. This next one says, I regret not realizing that I have ADHD. Yep. That's a big one, but that's something that we cannot really control because I agree that not knowing you have ADHD till you're an adult really sucks.

That's something that would have helped me in school a lot, but we can't we can't help it. We can't help it. I know sometimes it comes with painful lessons, but it's something where, unfortunately, our parents didn't catch it. Maybe it didn't really come out until later, but it is true. Being neurodivergent or having any type of anything like that is something that I feel like really comes in with age as well.

And it can be hard because it ends up making you have to make big adjustments in your life to go around it or to learn to implement it in your life or treat it like a, quote, unquote, superpower. I think some people hate it when people call those things superpowers, but I think it can be. Have I figured it out? Absolutely not. I have not.

Okay. So today is definitely a shorter episode than normal, but I am really losing my voice. And so, unfortunately, this is going to close out the end of today's episode. I want you to know as we're coming to the end of the year that you have done a wonderful job. And though we might have some regrets in our life or looking back at our goals that we set in January, which I don't think I hit a single one, but that's okay because we sometimes have things thrown at us that we don't expect.

In fact, in January of 2025, I'm going to unsubscribe from God's toughest soldier package. Yeah. I know. This is an old joke. I told it last year, but I think I'm I think I'm finished with that.

I think I don't need any other wildlife things to be thrown at me this year. Hurricanes internally, externally, all around. I mean, there's there have been so many things I could have never seen coming, and I I'd like to unsubscribe from that. But, unfortunately, I guess at the end of the day, we really can't because that is life. Life is crazy.

There's things that we can never expect. And so I think it's good to have goals. I think it's good to have routines, but it's also good to remain flexible and to not to not give yourself love based on the amount of discipline or things you accomplish. I know ding a ling sounds very basic, but that's something I have never done. I have never not based my self love off of things that I have accomplished or not accomplished, and this year has really tested that.

It's really shown me that, hey, Hannah. You don't actually have to read 65 books in a year to be smart or to, I don't know, just have interesting things to say. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Maybe maybe I'm just rambling now.

But, anyways, I just want you to know that you are doing an amazing job, and I hope that you have the most wonderful rest of your week. Thank you so much for listening to my podcast. And if you would, I would appreciate it if you could give me a little review, a little little rating on the podcast. It helps out a lot. My goal is to get to 25 reviews by the end of the year.

So grab your boyfriend's phone, your husband's phone, your partner's phone. Grab your brother's phone, your sister's phone. Yeah. You're gonna have to, like, push plan a single podcast and drag it to the end, whatever, but I appreciate it. Okay.

I digress. I'm going to go heal my sick throat now, and I'm gonna let you guys have a wonderful weekend. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

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