Best Friends Forever?

Sometimes, life has other plans. I’ve experienced friendship breakups, slow fades, and moments where boundaries had to be redefined. In this episode, we’re exploring how time, growth, and life changes can reshape even the closest relationships.

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Transcript

In my twenties, I have had a fair share of bad friendship breakups, of really amazing friends, of friends that fizzle out, and, of course, friendships that feel boundaryless. I feel as we have more and more relationships as we get older and as adults, there's so many nuances of friendships. What makes a good friend? How can we be good friends? When is it time to call it quits?

My 7th episode of the Unrelatable podcast was also about making and losing friends. I had lots of story submissions that I shared, and it was really interesting. It was a really good episode, in my humble opinion. And so I thought I would make a sort of part 2, a sequel. This one won't have any story submissions, but more so on just the thoughts of, yeah, what makes us good friends?

Why do we have breakups and the complexity of friendships? And so if that's what you're interested in listening to today, I welcome you back to another episode of the Unrelatable podcast. Hi. Hello. This is Hannah Felt, and I just wanted to give a quick podcast update for any new listeners.

I created this podcast last October, October of 2023, and I'm so grateful for everybody listening today. I created the Unrelatable podcast in hopes of really breaking down the barriers that we will often have about not only ourselves, but each other and kind of feeling like we are unrelatable at times or alone in our thoughts and our feelings. Because, you know, talking about these concepts and having conversations that sometimes we don't get to have with our family and friends, things that we keep inside, mental health, friendships, wins and losses in life. I enjoy talking about these things, and I feel like sometimes we can find relatability even if we don't come from the same circles. And, yeah, I have a good time with that on Thursdays.

And then on Fridays, they're a little bit more lighthearted. We'll talk about music, pop culture, random thoughts, feelings, what's going on in life. And so, yeah, thank you so much for being here. As you all know, I live in a rain forest, and surprise, it is currently raining. So if you hear any background noises, it's either that or it's crew waking up from his nap and probably shaking off his blanket.

But let's get right into it. So I have lived in 6 different states due to summer sales, mostly. And sometimes we would move out to these, you know, this summer of sales with a big group of people, you know, with lots of different sales reps, whether they're married or not married. Sometimes there were a lot of wives. Sometimes maybe there was only 1 or 2 of them, and then sometimes on our own.

And one thing that happened was when I got married, I was 19. Caden was a part of a sales team that did not have anyone that was married. In fact, we were some of the only married people in the entire company. It was so much different than my experience in the last few years. And so when I got married, we left for summer sales, and this was a long summer.

This was a hard, long summer. Luckily, we had just adopted crew the February before we left. I think we ended up leaving in March or April, ended up being around a 6 month long excursion, we could call it. And I realized about maybe 5 months into it that I hadn't really had any check ins from my friends. You know, I'd had this big life change.

I'd gotten married. I had moved away. I'd lived in 2 different states by that time. We'd gone to both Texas and then upstate New York. And I was feeling really lonely.

But then I had to realize, you know, I also hadn't really checked in on them either. I was in my own world in my new marriage. And it wasn't until I was lonely that I realized the situation that I had essentially accidentally put myself in. And this happens sometimes with big life transitions. I mean, I'm sure we've all had that friend where you're best friends, and then suddenly they get in a relationship, and they have a new person, and everything is structured around this new person.

And that's something that I feel happens more so when we're younger, because we don't really have that balance and the recognition of, hey, maybe we should have balanced relationships. I feel that maybe that could have been my place, you know, getting married and making it about us and really focusing on us, which isn't necessarily a negative thing, but I know that I didn't continue investing as much in my relationships than I could have. I could have 100% done a much better job. And it's not until we're lonely that we kind of end up realizing this. Right?

We kind of realize that friends fill different cups. They're not always going to be your entire life. You know, we might have a best friend in college or in high school where we really do everything with them. We're going out for school lunch with them. We're walking in between classes with them.

We're hanging out after school. Maybe we even do our sports with them. But then we graduate, and dynamics change. And the hard times are when the transitions happen, and you really have to shift into other cups or have different friends fill different parts of your life. You know, we have marriage.

We have kids. We have family. We have moving, career changes. And a lot of times, it is easier, and we kind of end up floating into friendships of people who are in really similar circumstances as we are. For example, meeting other sales wives who can understand the wild balance of of, honestly, the summer sales life.

And I could really do an entire episode dedicated to this and, honestly, have story submissions because it is such a different reality to live in. You know, being in summer sales, everything is circled around your husband's job. And the friendships that you have and the people that you meet and the wives that you spend time with is all circled around your husband's career. And as someone who you know, my husband, he's always been in a very managerial ownership based position, a leadership based position. And sometimes that kind of made it hard to feel like I could authentically make and create new relationships.

I don't know if it's because women were worried that maybe I had this, you know, specific idea of, Okay, now that we recruited your husband, now I'm gonna be friends with you to make sure that you stay on our team and you don't quit this summer. Because that was never my intention. And I only really felt this, I would say, maybe 1 or 2 times, maybe 3 times, where, you know, when specific people did have their walls up. And that's completely that's completely fine. You know, those were their boundaries.

But I almost feel like I had to overcompensate and really show, hey, no. I I actually want to genuinely be friends. And if you end up not being in summer sales next year, I would love to stay friends and stay connected. And so, you know, never wanting to make anybody feel like there's a reason outside of the genuine interest of being friends. Because having community within that is such an important thing.

And I've seen this before with people whose husbands end up going into medical school. Oftentimes, you end up connecting with other women or other people that are in the same position. And so, I feel like it's pretty normal, right, to create community with people that are in the similar situation as you. And, of course, you know, I've already explained how I can overthink that. But, again, the boundaries of friendships are so different.

And if we get the opportunity to get to know someone close enough, we can end up learning what those are, what those boundaries are, and then we can create something within those boundaries. I know for me, I did talk about this a few times, I'm sure, in other episodes. But I'm not somebody that needs to have a constant companion all the time. I love alone time. But that being said, you know, I'm gonna put it out there in the group chat.

Hey. I'm going to the thrift store. No pressure, but anyone can come with. And, you know, you kind of learn who people are and what they enjoy and what they don't enjoy through these experiences. And then, hey.

Sometimes you end up you end up separating ways because your commonality was only this one thing. It was only, okay, we're in summer sales together, and this is really our only common interest. And so, yeah, let's be friends. But then maybe things kind of slip through the cracks later on, and you end up not communicating as much anymore. And that's okay.

But I've been trying to think of what makes good friends. And, you know, friends who are in similar circumstances as you, that's a really good way to make friends. But what is what is a good friend? And I have really landed on friends that feel like a breath of fresh air. You know, friends who you can be unapologetically you, people that are refreshing to feel like there aren't any crazy expectations.

But, you know, you can show up as you are. It doesn't matter what you're wearing, how you show up. It's those Tuesday night TV nights where you turn on a show, and you hang out. You end up talking the entire time, missing the entire show, but it doesn't matter because they're just a breath of fresh air. Going out, you know, is fun and all, but in my opinion, it's so much fun when you go to your friend's house or they come over to yours, and you light your little candle.

You open the fridge, and you just throw a random meal together with ingredients that you find. I can't tell you how many times when Chat GPT first came out, there were so many times when even my sisters would come over, and they would always come over hungry. They'd come home to my house and immediately open the fridge, rage rave in the pantry. They're like little raccoons just searching for food. And so we would plug in every ingredient that I'd have in my house.

Because oftentimes, when they would come, it would be on, you know, the day before getting groceries. But we would just plug everything into chat gpt and say, hey. Please give us 5 recipe options. We would make them, and it would be so much fun and oftentimes so delicious. That is how I learned how to make homemade pasta sauce.

Let me tell you. Always keep some heavy whipping cream in the fridge or some fillet yogurt. You can whip anything out of that kind of stuff, cottage cheese. Anyways, okay, getting off of the topic. But, yeah, what makes valuable friendships?

I you know, I guess I should probably ask my closest friends what cups I fill for them and kind of get an idea of the value I bring to relationships. But I can say a few things that I've noticed with people who've I've had the honor of spending lots of time with. I have always really appreciated, and this is not unique to me, but open and direct communication. Because there's nothing worse than trying to show up for someone and not having it really go both ways. You know, trying to create plans and then having someone say, Yes, that sounds like a lot of fun, but it never makes it out of the group chat.

Right? These plans, these experiences never make it out. And it's nice when you have that open, that direct communication of, Hey, actually, maybe let's not go out tonight. Let's make dinner at home because we're saving our money, and we don't have it allocated for that. I have been in that position before where I'm like, hey, instead of, you know, planning this huge excursion, why don't you choose a different friend to come to that with?

And you and I can do something more on the affordable end. I can't tell you how many times, you know, these conversations have happened. And honestly, it's so refreshing. I would always prefer to know if somebody would rather stay in than go out or would rather save money than go out and get breakfast. I mean, we can make brunch at home all day.

I have an amazing friend, best chef in in the entire world, really. And I think one of her love languages is service because she's always inviting us over for meals and cooking and just the most one of the most amazing friendships I've had just because it's so genuine and open and honest and, like, hey. Yeah. Totally would love to do that. But maybe even it's not that, you know, you're trying to save money.

It's more just the connection and cooking and having that space to yourselves to connect. It's just different. You know? It's it's a different kind of it's a different kind of hangout session, and there's a time and a place for both. But, yeah, I just feel like the open and direct communication, especially in times of difficulty, is so important in times when you might need support.

And that goes to my next one where valuable friendships have support that flows both ways. You know, life is hard, but it's not meant to be directed at our friends and family. And so if we can keep that in mind and remember, no. These are the people that love and support me, so I'm gonna reach out to them when I need help. And they can reach out to me when I need help.

Because, honestly, you know, as long as we're keeping healthy boundaries, I will always be a rock. I will always be that person that can show up. I mean, I know I might be several states away at the moment, but you bet I will do something, whether we're Door Dashing, you know, cookies to your door or breakfast or a phone call or whatever you can do. And I really appreciate I really appreciate that. Another thing I appreciate out of friendships are people who make plans.

Oh my gosh. I have made an amazing friend here in Asheville, and she the plans that she makes, oh my gosh. Just con constantly inviting me to do fun things. For example, we just went to a dog baseball game yesterday. This local our local team, I guess not this local team because I live here now, apparently, but they were having a dog baseball night where you could bring your dog.

And she invited me, and we brought our dogs. And it was honestly the best time. It even rained, but it was fun. It was chill. And she's so good at making plans.

So good at making plans. It actually blows my mind how on top of it she is, and that she always books everything. And I just Venmo her, and she's so carefree. And so those things are always a breath of fresh air too, especially because I know I'm at a time in my life where I have no extra mental space to even think about plans. I don't have I don't even know what's going on here because I just moved here, and I've communicated that.

I've communicated, hey. Normally, I like to, you know, make plans too and whatnot. This is just a crazy time in life where I don't know where I live. I don't know anybody here. And so it's just, like I said, a breath of fresh air.

Another one is people who love dogs. I have never met so many dog people, so many people that love animals than here. I I can't even lie. And I have a lot of friends in Utah that love dogs. But they always say, hey, yeah.

Bring crew over. He's allowed on our couch. Whatever. And I'm thinking, no. You don't want him on your couch.

He sheds. And they're like, no. I don't care. I my dog sheds. And everyone's just so weirdly welcoming that way.

And I just even if you don't like dogs, that's fine. But you just connect with people on another level when they have the same interest as you. And I guess that's kind of more along what that is saying is having similar interests, of course, goes really far. But even if you don't have similar interests I mean, a lot of the things that I've been doing recently and the the plans that I've been going along with have been things I have never done before, like going to rock mines and mining for rocks. That's been another thing I've done recently.

That's pretty cool. You know what I mean? And so it's just it's nice to have friends that push you out of your comfort zone and friends that create that space for you to try new things, which, of course, leads to vulnerability. I've had friendships where it's not it's not something that's always deep. It's more of a lighthearted, relaxed hangout session.

And then I've had friendships where you become really vulnerable and where you can really talk things out and get another perspective. And I think both have their places, obviously. But that's something that I feel really connects you to other people, and it feels really special when someone lets you into their life when they are vulnerable. And it really does create that new level of connection. Now the next one is consideration.

And this is the part of the episode where we're going to get into kind of the sticky or not sticky parts, but but kind of, you know, what makes a good friend? Well, I think considering people makes you a good friend. It makes you a good partner. You know? It makes you a good family member, a good sibling.

And I don't know. What's a good example? We could talk about what about texting? For texting, for example, I don't ever expect texts to be replied to immediately. I don't even expect to see you or hear from you even once a month or to hang out for hours and hours on end.

But that being said, consideration is a huge factor in successful relationships and showing that investment in relationships, if you will. You know, reaching out, Hey, the next time you're in town, I would love to see you. Or being able to make that space to see somebody. I've had a hard time balancing friendships, where I felt many times that I'm typically the one that's more invested in the other individual. And that's something I've had to work on is not being the one to always reach out first, to always create the plans, to, you know, put those ideas out there.

And that's because you end up becoming burnt out. You know, if you're not met with the same energy, which you end up learning. But if you're not met with the same energy, you can end up being burnt out. And if you don't feel, you know, that you are being considered in a friendship, it can always lead to hurt feelings. And that's obviously learned person to person, and that changes.

Like I said at the beginning of the episode, I'm sure it was different and maybe hard and maybe felt maybe my friends felt like I abandoned them when I got married. But it's something that you learn and you make mistakes with, and you apologize, and you grow from. You know, adult relationships are so different from being a kid because there's no expectations when you're a kid, and you kinda just go with the flow. But as you become an adult and you have certain allotments of time where respecting each other's time is so important, and keeping, you know, your commitments to plans, and and or being able to have an open mind and understand if someone says, hey, I know we are planning on this, but I mentally don't have the energy. I think that's also really considerate to communicate when that is a part of your life or when maybe instead of going out, yeah, you would just really enjoy a night in with low lights.

There's days where I'm thinking I cannot go out in public and be under white lights. I need low lighting. I need just a lamp and a candle. I need to get cozy because burnt out mental health, everything. It's just something that is so is so valuable to have that consideration.

The next thing that I feel that is just really valuable in friendships are friends that make your abnormally large dreams feel attainable and exciting. Yes, of course, it's good to live in the real world. But whatever happened to encouraging dreaming? I feel like we've been in this weird balance of who do you wanna be when you grow up? And we dream, and then we grow up, and we realize, okay.

The adult world is a little bit different than we thought. But how do we hold on to our big dreams? How do we pivot and adjust them and keep things exciting? How do we encourage a wild exciting life? I don't know.

I just I love big dreamers, and I feel like it's rare to keep our big dreams alive. And, again, it might flow, but it's really exciting to be around that type of energy, to be around people that inspire you to do what you fear doing, do what you dream of, but you haven't done yet. Those are some of the most inspiring people, and I feel really, really lucky to have those people in my life because it can just inspire you to to really reach out for the things that you've dreamed of, but haven't thought yourself adequate of achieving. That's usually what it comes down to is the feeling of inadequacy. Is that is that a word?

Feeling of inexperience of, you know, an imposter syndrome of I guess imposter syndrome is once you've already achieved it. But you know what I'm saying. The next one that I feel is really important and special are friends that celebrate you. Birthdays are a big one. And I don't know.

Maybe it's just me, but I love birthdays. I love celebrating the people that I love. And I love feeling that love from other people when it's my day. And I feel like a lot of people really show you the love that they have for you on your birthday. And I'm not saying the value of a gift.

I'm not saying it's all about gifts and money and who can give the best thing. But more about showing up, and even if not physically, but, you know, making an effort to celebrate you with a text or a letter or a drive to come up to lunch. Or even if it's a souvenir, you know, that cost them a dollar, but it just reminded you of them. I love that. And I've really felt that in in my life, both the people that have really valued me, but also the people that haven't.

Right? I'm sure we've all had had times where on our birthdays, we hoped someone would show up, and they didn't. They just didn't end up showing up, and that can be really hard. It can be hard because birthdays feel personal. I mean, they are personal.

Right? But, you know, again, some people value things at different levels. And sometimes, we end up showing up more for people than they show up for us. And that is gonna be something that we talk about later on in this episode. But I just love that.

I love people who give you that extra that extra thought, that care, that note of, hey, I care about you. I haven't seen you in a year. I haven't seen you in 3 years. But I'm just letting you know that I'm glad you're here. You know what I mean?

It's just something something simple. Alright. So, siblings are my siblings are the some of the most valuable relationships I have in my life. And I've been trying to think about why that is. Well, shared experiences, as we've talked about earlier, vulnerability, I think siblings really they will tell you as it is, and you might not like what they say.

And maybe it's not true for you, but it's true for them. You know, the humility, the openness, the communication, and really learning to communicate through love. Because it's not always something that is done, obviously, with siblings. It's easy it's easy to have kind of a lack of proper communication, especially depending on the household that you grew up under, and what became a norm under that household. But siblings absolutely give you the opportunity to have a forever best friend.

And I know that that's not the case for everybody. I know that not everybody has that opportunity, whether you're a single child, whether you've lost a sibling, or whether you don't have siblings that put in that effort because it is oh, my gosh. It is 100% a two way street. I feel that if an older sibling isn't friends with the younger siblings, a lot of the times this is just a total opinion, by the way. A lot of a lot of the times, I feel it's the older sibling's responsibility to at least facilitate the beginning of those relationships.

And, of course, if it if it isn't ever reciprocated, then, okay, you know, draw your boundaries, learn new ways of having that relationship. But when you're the oldest, you leave first. And from what I have been told and from my siblings' experiences, you know, you kind of leave them behind. You leave them behind, and they're still experiencing life growing up, and you've just moved forward. And it can honestly seem like you've moved on, and I have felt guilty of that.

I have felt guilty. I think I've mentioned before, I moved out of my house during my senior year of high school, and it was something I had to do for myself mentally, where I couldn't stay at my home. It was just not an option anymore. And I felt guilty for several years after that, feeling like I abandoned my siblings. But, unfortunately, I had to make the decisions that were best for me and my mental health at that time, and that's what I did.

And I did all I could with the information that I had. And, you know, we've had those conversations, but sibling guilt older sibling guilt is is a whole other topic. Oh my goodness. But I just feel like the the love and the relationship that you have with your siblings is so absolutely incredible. You know, being able to feel like kids again.

I feel like they're the people that you can really just relax into yourself. Blast music, whether you're singing along to it or you're just sitting in silence and enjoying enjoying the energy. It's it's really something unique and something that I find so valuable, and I will forever be grateful be grateful for that experience that I've been able to have. So let's move forward to what constitutes a friendship breakup. I was watching a video the other day, and it said, eventually, friendships that once looked and felt like that, like a very close, very intimate relationship, sometimes they approach a fork in the road.

Two signs leading different paths. Enabling this way, accountability that way. I participated in, been personally victimized by, and have been leveled up by both. Enabling friendships or bumper stickers that feel like, live life, do you, YOLO. There's truth in wanting to support friends' antics.

There's truth in them supporting ours, and doing so implies seeing one another for just being human. Doing so also implies that our lives are movies without the element of being human, without true character development, the character we take with us into adulthood. Accountability. It isn't guilt. It isn't shame.

It's a gentle nudge. Some friends, all they want from you is comfort and validation regardless of the cost. You can see the discomfort in them, so why add confrontation to it? A good friend communicates with compassion and grace. Accountability is that reminder of the goal or boundary that your friend sets for themselves.

Being a good friend in adulthood is more than calling out bad love and bad habits. It's calling one another up. I feel like that says a lot. And, really, it's when we are in adulthood that we see that bigger shift in friendships because growth only happens in the painful realizations of realizing when a friendship might not be healthy anymore, when it might not be safe or compassionate or loving. And this can honestly go for any relationship, but if people are not treating you well, they're not going to treat you better if you work harder.

That's generally what I found. You know, if you are treating people well, and you're not being you're not having that reciprocated, trying even more is just going to end with you not being not being satisfied. It's going to end with you feeling more broken. And I'm totally guilty of almost trying too hard and extra hard. And when things don't change, you just feel more empty, more exhausted, and you have you know, you're exhausted of your resources being available 247 by not having boundaries.

And it becomes your responsibility, actually, to draw those boundaries. So how do we leave these friendships? How do we create space and separate? Well, man, I don't even know if there's if there's an accurate or correct or right way to do it, because that's a hard one. You know, there's 2 ways.

There's a conversation, or there's leaving silently. And maybe you've been left silently before. And that's when you kinda think, okay, what what's going on? Where where is this coming from? And maybe you're able to have a conversation later.

Maybe you're not. I can completely understand leaving silently if you've tried and tried and tried to communicate. You know, if you haven't been validated or if things haven't changed, it can be hurtful. And sometimes, you end up slipping through the cracks in someone's life. And whether it's unintentional or or intentional, it it can hurt.

And so, that's when I feel like leaving silently ends up happening. It's not something that's necessarily ever planned. It just ends up being. A conversation, on the other hand, a conversation's hard. Oh my gosh.

Conversation is hard in general. It's uncomfortable, but it's so good when it's able to happen, and it's good when it's able to happen respectfully. And, you know, are there situations where I've realized, okay, I could have totally done better with that. You know? I could have done better with having that uncomfortable conversation.

I could have done better with giving more more grace always, 100%. But, you know, sometimes I found that I have a hard time communicating what I what my needs are until I am burnt out. You know, it takes it takes honesty. It takes vulnerability to be able to grow together in a friendship in the same direction because we're all growing. Right?

And, sometimes, you grow out of relationships. That's usually what happens. And in order to not have that happen, yeah, you you gotta be vulnerable with each other. You gotta be honest with each other and kind of assess which directions you're headed and if you can continue supporting each other. But if you push those conversations off for too long, well, you're gonna end up in a situation where your boundaries are crossed, where love isn't reciprocated, or respect isn't given.

And it can be hard to want to have conversations, to want to give grace when boundaries are crossed, when respect is lost. And it really just comes up to each individual, and every circumstance is so different. And what has helped me is to realize that friendships ending, or moving forward from different relationships, or even just accepting that friendship dynamics are changing, it doesn't mean that that it's a loss. You know, they were somebody who impacted your life, and they came into it when you needed them most. And they're most likely was a situation where you needed them, where they needed you.

They were a sentence, a paragraph, or a whole chapter of your book. That's a really corny quote that I heard today. But, really, there's somebody who they needed to be, and you played the same part. You played a part in their story as well. Maybe you skipped in and skipped out within 6 months, and you didn't change the direction that you were skipping, but your paths just ended up aligning for a minute.

You know, so many friends fill different needs. I know that we talked about this in my last friendship episode, but some friends fill your travel cup. I have a friend who I went and I traveled all around Italy with. We hadn't ever actually hung out 1 on 1 before, but we travel together. Amazing.

Like, 10 out of 10 perfect situation. We communicate really well. We get hangry at the same time. Our level of hangry is just getting quiet, so we can recognize, okay, we're both we're both hungry. We're both tired and sweaty.

Let's go get food. You know? And some friends are going to fill your cup for movie relaxation nights, or for hiking, or brunches. And what has helped me is letting go of expecting friends to fill every single need. And that's so necessary because we aren't meant to fill every single category.

In high school, like I said, we had that. And there will always be something valuable about those childhood friends and those childhood relationships where everything just worked because we didn't have, honestly, we just didn't have the preferences, the boundaries, the life experiences. We were kids. We we were just children, and there's something really innocent about child relationships that, you know, we wish that we can grow up so fast, and then we grow up really fast, and we realize, oh my gosh. Life is so much more complex than it was when we were kids.

And, you know, it's bittersweet, but I wouldn't change it for anything. In fact, I was in my book club because, surprise, I have joined a book club. This wonderful woman in my drawing class that I took from the community college here, she just turned 79 or 80 this week. So she's this wonderful older woman, and she invited me into her neighborhood's book club. And I could not feel more honored to be a part of this circle because they have so much wisdom and shared experiences.

They not shared experiences, but they have been sharing their experiences growing up with different relationships, with their mothers, with their fathers, sisters, brothers, even growing up as a single child, sharing their experiences in marriage and divorce, and these things that have changed them, how it made them feel, but the way that they grew through it. And they have so much wisdom. It's more and more evident year after year that as long as you're true to you and true to who you are and you live a life of love and respect for others, you will attract people that are meant to be in your life. But as soon as there is a sign that it might be time to continue on, that you might need to do so, it's usually in the best interest of you and, you know, always communicating when you can, but we can't control others. That's not our prerogative.

That's not our purpose, and we can't expect or demand change either. We can give people the opportunity to know our needs and relationships, but they have the full right to also decide if it aligns with them or if it doesn't. And, like I said earlier, I believe grace is giving the chance of change. But sometimes, grace is something that can't be given. You know, there are situations where you just might not feel comfortable with someone anymore, and you can't guilt yourself of that.

But communicating either way is so important because your values are nonnegotiable. And coming into relationships, coming into friendships with your glass already half full, instead of coming into a half empty and asking and needing and really being there just for yourself won't give the other person the opportunity to be themselves. So if you come into it with your glass half full, that's gonna give the other person the opportunity to top it off. And then you won't lose yourself in the relationship if you end up going separate ways or, you know, if you move states and you don't contact each other as much. There's another quote, really corny quote.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And us being able to realize and identify which that is for these people in our lives save us so much stress. It saves us from having unrealistic expectations, and, honestly, it allows us to be able to show up to friendships with that energy of gratitude and love that we hope to be given. A lot of times, expectations can really ruin the experience of getting to know someone for who they are and for the ways that they can show up. Like I said earlier, I'm at a time right now where I don't have a lot of mental energy to be creating plans, to be, you know, creating these excursions and things to go do.

And, you know, I'm I'm really good at saying, hey. Come over to my house. I'd love to have you over. Or, yeah, let's get the dogs together. Let's do this.

Let's do that. But right now, I know that that's kind of the season that I'm in. And so, you know, just communicating those things to your friends, to new friends. I have had to communicate a lot. Hey.

Even if I don't text you back, I will get back to you soon. You know, these are the hours that I kind of get off of my phone because I work from my phone or I work from my laptop. So it's nice to have time away. Hey. Yeah.

This is my date night. I'm sorry. I can't do anything. You know, just communicating with honesty. I think that it's so important instead of making excuses because maybe you don't wanna hang out with someone anymore.

But instead of making excuses as to why you don't or can't be there, showing up in full honesty. It allows your person that you may not be interested in being friends with anymore. It allows them to move forward, but it allows you to move forward in good consciousness that you are not holding them back, that you're not giving them any doubts about themselves or how they're showing up as a friend. Thank you guys so much for listening to today's episode. I know that it's not as long as my episodes have been.

But speaking of that, I would love any feedback that you have because I'm getting closer to my 1 year anniversary of the of the Unrelatable podcast. I'm like, what does this go with again? And so, yeah, I'd love your opinions on the episode length on the audio. How does the audio sound, really? I mean, I know that we get some rain oftentimes.

But, yeah, how do you like the intro, the music, the topics? I'd love to know your thoughts, your feedbacks, your feedbacks. I really want to do video soon. You know, I did it in the beginning, but I kinda got camera shy. I did.

And so, I need to kinda get back into that. In the beginning of this podcast, I had a really big intention of having guests, and that's been something I haven't done a lot with, but I'd love to explore that. And I would love to do that because my episode with Mary and Kate, you guys loved, and I loved doing it. And so I would love to have more guests in the future. So if you'd like to be a guest and share your experiences that have shaped you into who you are and, you know, maybe it's a certain topic you feel really passionate about.

And, you know, maybe it's something that you feel is a little bit unrelatable that you would like to share, I would love to have you on the podcast. If you have anyone you'd like to see on the podcast, let me know too. And, of course, it can all be anonymous through the link in my bio. I have a link for any and all thoughts, suggestions, feedback that you guys have. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for your reviews. This is gonna be sorry. This is kind of an episode filled with some with some podcast info. But once I hit 50 reviews, I will be able to be categorized and suggested under other podcasts. So, that's kind of my goal by the end of the year is to have that.

So, if you haven't yet, I would really appreciate it. If you rate to review the show, thank you so much. I hope you have the most wonderful rest of your day, night, evening, morning, whenever you're listening, and I will see you next time. Byeeeeee!!!