“Thou Shall Not Give Up on Dating and Become a Nun”

Apps like Bumble, Tinder, Match, etc. are home to the craziest dating stories. We’re talking the 4B Movement, the controversial ad campaigns Bumble has released, and more.

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Transcript

Hi. Hello. Welcome back to the Unrelatable podcast. Today, I have a pretty fun episode for you guys. Today, we are talking about your best and worst dating stories.

We're talking celibacy in 2024. We're talking dating revolutions. And so jeez, sounds so corny. Okay. If any of this is something that you want to hear more about, then I think you are going to enjoy today's episode.

And so with that, welcome back to the Unrelatable podcast. Today, we're talking all about dating apps, your guys' good and bad experiences with them, the 4 B Movement and the controversial Bumble ads from earlier this year. Alright. So, I saw a great quote the other day, about guys and girls just being friends, and it said, guys are friends with girls that they find attractive, and girls are friends with guys they do not find attractive. And I just thought we'd open it up with that.

So if anyone is listening to my podcast and you're a guy and you're wondering if a girl likes you and you've just been, you know, good friends for a long time, and you think you're ready to take it a step further. You guys have discussed just being friends before, but you really think there might be something there. Don't do it. Let her make the first move. It's kinda like being in the gym.

If you are a male and you are in the gym, you already know that is not the place to hit on a woman. If she is interested, she will talk to you. The woman know. We know that at this point in time, if you are interested in a guy at the gym, you are just going to have to be the one to approach them because, at least hopefully, by this time, that is kind of a more generalized way of going about things because otherwise, you usually just come off really creepy and desperate and weird that the gym is just not the place. And so, yeah, let's go ahead and jump into these stories because they are very, very, very interesting.

Let's jump right into it. This story says, I met my husband on a dating app, and he is freaking amazing. He is the most thoughtful, caring, loving man I have ever encountered. We've been together for nearly 7 years now and are expecting our first child in a couple of weeks. I think in 7 years, we've had 2 fights, and I knew I wanted to be with him from day 2.

It was a completely magical connection. I still feel so drawn to him. But my worst dating story is when I met a guy who showed up to our date completely and totally hairless. No eyebrows to be seen. He was also so totally creepy.

Think the kind of creepy that you feel deep in your stomach, that I couldn't get away from him fast enough. He kept making comments about taking me home for himself that night. I serious I seriously had to call somebody to show up to where we were so that I had a distraction to get away from him. He was awful. And when I think about him to this day, I get the shutters.

You know, the thing that completely stood out to me was being hairless, totally and completely hairless. I'm wondering was this like his arms, his legs, his ankles, and his hair and brows and eyelashes? Because if there was no hair on the eyelashes, we might have a condition on our hands, which is a little uncontrollable. But I could not personally imagine dating Caden at 16 if he didn't have eyebrows. I'm sorry, babe.

I just don't know if that would have been what I would have gone for at the time. Maybe when I would have gotten gotten to know you, you know? Oh, my gosh. That's crazy. Okay.

So this next story says, we decided to meet for dinner at 7. He was an hour and 45 minutes late. His reason oh, I just lost my spot. Okay. Here we are.

He was at the gym doing leg day in the single squat rack in the gym. A personal trainer asked him to move so his client could work in. He refused and stood his ground in the squat in the squat rack. After 30 minutes of arguing with gym management, they called the police to arbitrate the situation. And after all that, he still had to finish his squats because priorities.

Oh my gosh. You know what? That is that is commitment to the game, and he will he will probably progress in his squats and remain single forever with that type of ego. Oh my gosh. You could not convince me.

If if a trainer walked up to me at the gym and I've been taking too long on the squat rack, if police showed up, I'd say, please take the squat rack. Please take it. I hate squats. Do not enjoy them one bit. In fact, take the whole squat rack.

Remove it from the building, please. No. I still do squats even though I don't love them. I just have very long femurs, which makes it so I can do squats, but I can't necessarily build up my weight super high because the flexion that has to happen is my back has to bend a bit lower in order to make up for the amount of a femur that I have. I don't know if this is making any sense.

And so at the end of the day, it just feels so pointless and frustrating to me because I will never be able to get above, you know, 155 on the squat rack. I just won't. It is not happening. I barely have been able to do a 45 on each side for like, a year and a half now. And I've been lifting for how long?

It's just not on my cards. Okay. Anyways, story number 4. My best relationship experience has been with my current significant other. We met up for quick drinks after work one evening and spent the next 7 or 8 hours together just talking.

We can still have marathon conversations like that over 2 years later, which is one of the reasons I love him so much. But my worst experience in my profile, I made it very, very clear that I have a dog and a cat, that I'm very attached to them, that my dog has special needs, physical and psychological. Oh, poor little baby. So he's quite time consuming, that I will always have my pets and that someone who doesn't like animals or want pets is a deal breaker. Well, I met up with a guy I've been talking to online for a few weeks, including talking to him about my pets.

10 minutes into the date, he tells me he's, quote, not an animal person and could never live with pets and that I probably need to get rid of mine. What the heck, dude? There was no second date. It blows my mind when there is very clear, very, very direct communication about okay, these are my boundaries. These are the things that are important to me.

And so if you, you know, don't agree or whatever, that's fine. We can go our ways. But I'm not budging on this. It would be like someone that has in their bio, that they're Christian, they want to marry a Christian, and someone walks in and says, By the way, I need you to get rid of your spirituality because I just don't like it. And you're like, excuse me, I literally had that as a requirement for myself.

So no, I will throw you away. It's just so funny. Okay, so this next submission says, guys, I made the mistake of texting way too much before meeting in person. He was already calling me his girlfriend to his friends. Oh, no.

When we met, I instantly knew there was zero physical attraction. His photos were obviously old upon seeing him in person. He was very pushy, kept asking me increasingly personal questions and getting upset that I wasn't open with him. I cut him off after that night, but I knew but he knew I was active in a meetup group. So he showed up to an event that I was at a few months later.

I was there with a guy I was kind of seeing. He decided to corner this guy and talk at length about our amazing connection and, quote, unquote, hot make out. Lies. I was mortified. The audacity to make up a make out.

Are you kidding me? I had this happen to me once in high school. I hadn't kissed anybody. And there is this one guy that I liked for, I don't know what reason to this day. I couldn't tell you one one thing that was likable about this person.

That is so rude. How can I describe it? Well, one day, I go to school, and I hear, oh, my gosh, I heard that you and blah blah blah kissed. I I was like, What are you talking about? And they said, Yeah, he's telling everybody in the locker rooms.

I said, No, I did not kiss him. I would I would not kiss him. And that was the ultimate ich was being told that I had kissed someone that I did actually like, and that I was thinking about kissing. Kissing for me in high school was was a big commitment because I wasn't going to kiss anyone till I was 16. And so when I had crushes on these guys, it'd be like, it was always, you know, December, January, my birthday's in February.

And they'd be like, come on. Let me be your 1st kiss. And I'd say, no. I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

And they they'd always think that they could be the one to convince me. No, sir. We did not kiss. So I feel you on the lies about being kissed. Didn't happen.

Okay. So this next story says, my best relationship I've had is my current man. He's amazing. But my worst, oh, boy. These are all dating app stories.

1 guy who never stopped talking about his job for the entire date. He'd break his stream of words to ask me close ended questions, and then go right back to his job. And then he told me he had severe depression and was into BDSM. Just in case we ever get into a serious relationship, we met half an hour ago, dude, calm down. Ew, red flags, red flags, if you can't listen, if you're a bad listener, that's a red flag right there.

Okay, so this next one says, 1 guy oh, wait, this is the same this is the same submission. Okay. So her next story says, I went on a date with a guy who was kind of awkward, about £60 heavier than his pictures, but nice. Wow. That is a very specific number.

Then at 1 AM, he sent me a rambling text that ended with, I was majorly caught off guard guard by your boobs. Like, holy crap, man. I mean that in a non creepy way. K. Thanks for playing.

Next. Another strike. We don't talk about bodies. Thank you. Even if it's like a compliment, I I don't know.

I would just be very careful. I would just be very careful. Okay? My worst and most annoyingly most annoying story definitely would probably have to be married men. Oh my gosh.

The sheer amount of men I've spoken to or gone out with that end up being married just wears me out. It wouldn't be nearly as painful for me if all of these guys are just looking for a noncommittal relationship, but I have gotten involved with 2 men on relationship tracked dating, I don't know what that is, who ended up being married. One of them came clean when he realized we were both developing feelings, and the and then the other, I only caught when I searched his number in Facebook. That is the number one rule. You always search the number in Facebook.

Just kidding. I never even knew that that was a way, but, apparently, that's a way. I wonder if you can do that on Instagram, too. I I am assuming not. I'm assuming that this is definitely something that we could only do 5 years ago.

But that is something that is very prevalent, especially in Utah, Arizona. I don't know why. It's very strange. Actually, I do know why. It's because people get married, and then they decide that they want to open up their relationship, or they're just cheating on their partner, and that's wild to me.

Just wild. Okay. This next one says, I started talking to a guy who had super, super, super cute photos. He was incredibly charming over text, and I was so smitten. Smitten's such a cute word.

Oh my gosh. Can we bring smitten back? Okay. She says he played guitar. We FaceTimed once, and he sang for me.

It was very fun, and we made plans to hang out the next day. I drove over as he lives about an hour from me, and the first thing I noticed was that his photos were probably pretty old. Not a big deal. He was still cute, and we had gotten on pretty well, so I was excited to meet him. We start hanging out, and he mostly just plays guitar for me for, like, a couple hours.

I keep trying and trying to get his attention elsewhere and strike up a conversation, but he would interrupt me in the middle of a question to start playing another song. I kissed him on the cheek a couple of times to try and get his attention and figured maybe I can kiss a guy on the lips and get him to put his guitar down, but, no. I was so annoyed he wouldn't even look at me. Eventually, he pulled out his phone, and we laid on his bed and started watching funny YouTube videos. Things started to relax a little bit, and I leaned up on him, and he grabbed my hand and placed it on his you know what.

He kept rebuffing my advances all night for kissing, but wants to just casually place my hand on his d. It was super freaking awkward. And so I made up some lame excuses and left. This is wild. You know, when you first said guitar, immediately in my brain, the movie Barbie popped up about all those, you know, all those men playing guitar for their girlfriend, which Caden and I, he did in fact whip out his guitar for me on one of our first hangouts at his house.

So we were laughing so hard at that scene. And you know what, if you don't have a man that can laugh at the Barbie movie, you've got to think twice because your man should be able to laugh at himself. Oh, my gosh. I could not even imagine the audacity. Oh, my gosh.

I didn't even tell you guys that this would be an explicit episode. It does say it in my podcast description, though, and it says it before you click on the episode. So I guess today, we're learning the hard way. So sorry about that. But, yeah, just now you know, I guess.

Now now we both know. This is my first time reading these. Okay. So this next online dating story or dating app story, I don't really know what to call them. They're all from dating apps.

So, like, Bumble, Tinder, What are the other ones? Match.com, Hot or Not, Grindr. Yeah. I think that's I think that's a lot of them. Mutual.

Mutual is another one. Okay. So this next one says, I have 2 of the worst dating stories. Guy 1 was the same age as me, sweet and laid back. We ended up dating for a few months.

He lived with his brother, so he always came to my apartment. Towards the end, I thought I'd send him a Facebook request. I saw his profile picture was a photo of his wife and newborn child. Like, newborn as in born probably around the same time we started dating. There is a special place in hell for men who cheat on their new baby mamas, on their women, on their wife, on their person that just bore their child.

There is a special place in hell. That is insane. Oh my gosh. Wow. I would be traumatized.

I would feel so terrible, but the thing is is even if you cut it off or whatever, he's still probably gonna go and do it with another person. Like, it's just wild. These people are wild. Guy number 2 is my most recent ex. He was awesome.

Oh my gosh. Q and the was. He was awesome. Funny, successful, smart, but a big nerd. Well, that's okay.

Right? We love big nerds. We met on Tinder and dated for about 6 months. We planned a weekend getaway in January, and the week before we were due to leave, he just stopped contacting me. No calls, no texts, no responses to any of my messages.

Hotel had been paid for, had a great time we last hung out. Well, it's been 2 months or so and still nothing. So, I tell people he died. Very sad. Rip.

You know, that is exactly what I would say too. I would say, yeah, I think he passed away. But I didn't ever know his friends or family, so I couldn't find any funeral details, and here we are. Because that's wild, man. My ego would be a little stung, unless he's the one that paid for the hotel.

That would make it, like, a little bit better. Maybe he did. I'm not sure. The details are unclear. But, man, I'm glad that you escaped that red flag.

This next submission says, we clicked really well through Bumble and quickly went to texting. We made plans to meet up within a week while he was supposedly traveling through town. He wasn't. He traveled 2 hours to meet me and 2 hours back. I don't like guys traveling to me just for a date.

Okay. Well, he must have liked you, though. Let's see what happens. We plan to meet at a bookstore, which is easy to find. He looked nothing like his photos, so I don't even recognize him when he comes up to me and asks me about a book I was thumbing through.

He had a really odd voice too. Like, it didn't match him. Anyways, we decide to get dinner at a place down the street. We're chatting a little awkwardly on my part. He asks about a sign across the room, but I couldn't read it from where we were because I didn't have on my glasses.

I asked him what his were for since we were on the topic, and he reveals that they're actually fake. Oh, my gosh. This kind of weirds me out more because I don't really understand wearing frames just because. His quote unquote school ring was also fake. Okay.

Alright. Come on now. We're getting a little weirder here. She says, and his humor was unsettling. He kept slipping my hand slipping his hand onto my knee under the table, and it creeped me out so much.

That's not something I'd be alright with, even if I was into the guy. At this point, I'm just trying to find ways to end this. He was actively trying to extend the date. Thank goodness a friend called me, so I was able to escape with the excuse that something had come up with my roommate. I went to a friend's place since I was uneasy to the point of not even wanting to go straight home.

Okay. So it's very interesting that he was like, hey, can you read that sign when he's wearing glasses? I would also be so curious. So I think it's hilarious that you asked him what they were for. And then he said that they're not even they're not even useful.

You know what? I'm not against wearing frames for style, though. Like, I feel like it's cool. You know what I mean? I I think glasses are a good accessory.

I can't lie. Alright. This next one says, my best and worst dating stories are kind of the same. Oh, boy. Let's lock in.

She says, I joined a dating app where you could view messages once, and then you had to pay to see it again or to continue the conversation. So I wasn't on that long once I discovered that. The first guy who messaged, I wasn't going to respond because I didn't find myself to be very attracted to him. So I closed out the message that contained his name. Later decided I'll message him.

He seems cool. Maybe the pictures don't do him justice. I realized I couldn't see his message anymore, but, luckily, his name was so memorable. So I messaged him on Facebook. We soon made plans to meet for lunch.

Went to lunch. Had a pretty good time. I figured we'd make good friends. That night, oh, no. He asks me over Facebook if I was related to some girl who shared my last name.

Turns out I was, and so was he. We were cousins, distant cousins, but still blood related. His grandfather wait. His great grandfather is my grandfather's brother. Now we're best friends.

Oh my gosh. That's so I would say cute, but, like, just interesting, I guess. Right? I mean, you guys just you guys didn't get very deep into the into the flirting, so that's less awkward than it could have been. Okay.

So thanks to you guys, and thanks to the Ask a Win Reddit thread for lots of those stories. I, lastly, had one that had suggestions for finding partners on apps or, like, dating on apps. And this is what they say. They say, you have to, number 1, have strong boundaries, and the second that some guy does something gross, unmatch him, delete him, block him. Your future husband, boyfriend, partner doesn't make sex innuendos to girls that he's never met.

You know what? That is actually very, very, very, very, very true. That's kinda like what I was saying earlier is you can compliment someone, but you don't like, if they're complimenting you, like, way too strongly in the beginning or they're making, yeah, any type of references to your body, kind of a red flag. Okay. Number 2 is to go on a lot of dates.

Recommend coffee, so you can get to know someone without a huge meal and a time limit of 30 to 60 minutes. Dinner is just too long. If he's not your guy, you can leave earlier without it looking weird. This is so true. You can go to a coffee shop.

You can get some tea. You can get some hot chocolate. You can get bagels. Coffee shops just seem like a safe space. You know, they seem like a safe space.

They're also very inexpensive. And so, if you feel like you don't want the commitment of a second date, then you could even pay for yourself. And, hey, you're not in the whole $25. So I think that that's a really good suggestion. Okay.

The third is to date off your normal type. Try dating guys with different interests than what you would normally go for. You might be surprised. Know your value. Best of luck to you.

Okay. That was such a cute little note. Okay. So with that, I just feel like talking dating stories, talking best and worst dates, Those are my favorite things to hear. They're so funny.

A lot of the times, it feels crazy when it's happening. And then you can just laugh about it later. And now is when I tell you about one of the first times that Kaden and I hung out, and what our freaking activity was. Okay. So this was what happened.

First of all, I I probably need to start writing down what I tell you because I I don't know if I've told you this before, but we're just gonna jump right into it. So I really wanted to be a true Mustang. I went to a high school where the Mustang was a mascot, and then we had this thing called true Mustang, where if you kissed on the 50 yard dash line, someone else that was a Mustang, then you were both true Mustangs, and it had to be at midnight. And I think it also had to be on what's that night that's in high school where you have your biggest game? Homecoming.

I think that'd be on Homecoming. Is that right? I'm not really remembering. Well, I didn't have a crush on anyone at this time. And I had recently turned 16 earlier in the year.

Again, didn't like anybody yet. It's still the beginning of the year. Your girl didn't have the time yet. Right? No.

And so there's this guy, and I we kind of just mutually decided that we would be each other's true Mustang. And so, oh, my gosh. Okay. Yep. I'm telling you this story.

So we go and we line up at midnight on the 50 yard dash line, which in fact, my mom, I had to literally convince her for me to be able to stay out past 12. And she's like, okay, you can be home by 12:15. And I'm like, 12:15? How am I supposed to kiss someone and then drive the 15 minutes home if I have to be home by 12:15? Well, I ended up being late.

So of course, but this is what happened. We meet up on the on the 50 or dash line, I think it was. And there's lots of people. There's lots of people wrapped up in their blankets, all these couples. And even before the clock strikes 12, everybody starts kissing.

And I just look at him, and we're like, shall we? And he goes in, and we just start kissing. And when I tell you this was the worst kiss of my life, Again, might have already told this story, but it was the worst kiss I'd ever had. And, again, I just we kept going. I kept kissing him because I thought maybe maybe it's gonna get better.

Maybe maybe the things will go up from here. And so, we parted a few times, and I, like, looked around and people were just, like, making out. And finally, I was like, okay. Like, thanks. Whatever.

I don't remember how we separated. But I remember, I looked to my right, and who was on my right? Oh, Kaden was, of course. Kaden, my now current husband, was making out with one of his ex girlfriends to the very side of me. And I just remember being like, Oh, my gosh, like everybody's just making out.

What the heck? Long story short, Kaden and that person eventually break up, right? Kaden and I start dating. And actually, I don't even think that we were dating at this point. I think we were just hanging out.

And he says, Hey, Hannah, can I come pick you up? Let's, let's just go drive around and listen to music and stuff. And we're just gonna go have some fun. And I was like, okay, let's do it. So he picks me up, and guess who's in the back seat?

That guy that guy that I had made out with, like it was honestly probably a month or so later, but he was in the back seat. And things were just kind of awkward because it was such a turnoff. The kiss was so bad that there was no chance that anything would ever happen. And so, yeah, but they apparently were really good friends. And so he was just sitting in the back 3rd wheeling.

And what was our quote unquote, hangout? What were we doing? Oh, well, it was Christmas time. And so Caden pulls up to this house, opens up the door, jumps out, runs to the house, and flips off the light box, the power box, whatever the heck it's called, and then runs back to the car and drives away. And I'm sitting there like, Oh, my gosh, am I participating in a crime?

Nope, I was just secondhand embarrassment to teenage boy activities that I had no need to know about. And Caden to this day tells me not to tell that story. Actually, he hasn't told me not to tell that story. I think he just finds it embarrassing, and can't believe that he did it. But it is kind of funny.

And I could literally not believe that. I was like, this is the activity. I was like, what about like, it's turning off the power of their house, they're gonna have to walk outside and figure out what's going on. And the guys are just laughing, and I was just sitting there in the passenger seat. So, yes, my own very awkward date hangout was with my current husband.

Very fun. Yeah, high school man. High school is a funny is a funny time. I am still thinking about that guy that was wearing a fake ring. A fake ring on his hand.

Like, that is so that is so embarrassing to wear a fake score ring. Anyways, let's talk about the 4 b movement. Now, there's this huge movement going on right now. And I'm not a part of it myself, because obviously, I'm married to my man, but let's explain what it is. It started in South Korea, and 4 b stands for the 4 No's.

So no dating, no child rearing, no marriage, and no relations of any kind with men. And it originated actually from Escape the Core Set, where patriarchy is extremely strong, and beauty standards are extremely strong in South Korea. And so women have felt the expectations of how they're expected to look, how they're expected to act, style, and it's become extremely overwhelming and crippling for them. And so they formed this escape the corset movement with all these women have been destroying their makeup, their clothes, but it wasn't necessarily deep enough to change a lot. And so it got a lot deeper.

And while this was happening, they realized that the issues in Korea were so much more extreme than they realized before. So Korea essentially ranks 99 out of a 149 countries for gender equality. And in 2023, it was reported that 65% of the children or sorry, of the women in South Korea listen, they don't wanna have children, and 42% of them don't even wanna get married. Well, of course not because they have 80% citing domestic violence as their key reason. And so the South Korean government, they start removing terms like gender equality from textbooks, and the wage gap becomes so extreme so that women can't even afford to have children, and therefore, they just stop having them.

And this is kind of like when everyone just starts taking matters into their own hands, and it's labeled the 4 b movement. So essentially, the whole point is they're fighting against a system that has been treating them terribly. And, you know, it's been created in response to wanting to distance themselves from toxic and unsafe men. Because at the end of the day, who do men flaunt to? Or at least in this scenario, they flaunt to hot, strong, masculine woman because they wanna break down their walls and have their woman turn into a more gentler, submissive person.

And so these women are saying, no. We're we are removing ourselves from this to protect themselves. And it started becoming actually more popular here in the west. And so that's why I'm talking about it today is because it's even becoming prevalent here in our western society. And women have so much more power.

And it's showing now because people are getting mad at the 4 b movement. And it's usually when people start getting mad at movements is when you can tell that things are changing, or that it's making a difference, right? Because I think that, honestly, it's just a realization that us women can live in the world without centering men to this as the center of our lives. And I know okay. First of all, my man is my man.

I'm married to my man, and I love him. And I also come from a culture in Utah that heavily supports a family. And so I want you to just kind of keep your mind open as I'm saying this. These things, I'm not necessarily, like, subscribing to or not subscribing to. But I just think that it's interesting to talk about this movement, because it is happening here in the US.

And it does actually matter. Because if you look at it as a positive thing, if you look at it as taking a step of stepping away from patriarchy, and, you know, maybe even relieving stress from men having to be the traditional quote unquote man with all those pressures to provide. I mean, it's good for both sides, is it not? Because there are already tons of expectations placed on men that can cripple men and give them just the worst anxiety of having to provide or the pressure of having to provide. And that's not talked about a lot either.

And so, yeah, obviously, this is all in the context of a safe, respectful relationship from here on out. But, yeah, so what people are saying are, you know, live life live your life like a man. What does that mean? Number 1, do what you like. Number 2, if you don't wanna have kids, don't.

Number 3, if you don't wanna get married, don't. You know, a lot of times, like these things wouldn't have even ever existed in my mind. Because that's just not how I grew up. You know, I grew up very religious. That was just never the idea.

And obviously, you know, my life has worked out for me how it is, and I'm happy about it. But a lot of times we we are given the message that there is only one way to be happy. And I think it's very hard for people to understand because they'll think, well, I love my kids, and I'm happy with my husband, and this is the best way and the best form of happiness. And so I feel bad for anybody else who doesn't also live life like this. But the problem with that is when you begin to operate under the assumption that everybody has the same exact brainwaves, feelings, desires, really, as you do.

And not to mention that the same kind of supportive husband or partner that you might have is also apparent to your children. And that is not necessarily the kind of experience that everybody else has had. You know, everyone's had different fathers, different experiences, different experiences with fathers, with past relationships, with grandfathers, uncles, like the impact spans so far and wide, that it'd be naive of, you know, of myself to think, well, I'm married happily to my husband, to Caden, and we're really happy. So therefore, everybody else should do the same thing. You know what I mean?

I mean, take a look at single moms. They did it, and they're doing it. I feel like people that have been raised by single mothers or those who have had really difficult fathers can really understand the 4 b movement because, you know, if it was about protecting women, men wouldn't be upset about it. But so many are because it's making women less controllable. And it's so funny because if it wasn't talked about, if people just lived the movement and they didn't talk about it, nobody would be mad about it.

Right? Nobody would be making a fuss. But it's like the man versus bear argument. If your man doesn't get it, and he doesn't listen to or validate your perspective, it's because they're really only thinking with their own worldview. And it's just it can be frustrating for so many people.

I don't know if you've had the experience before of expressing any bad experiences that you've had in your dating life. And it's like, you just get told, well, you should have picked better. Well, now they're not picking anybody and people still find a reason to be mad about it. So it's just really, really, really interesting. And it's kind of like, I heard this quote before.

And it goes, men can't believe that women are single by choice because men are not single by choice. And if you're a man and you're listening to this, I'm so sorry. This might sound a little bit extreme. In fact, it might sound extreme to everybody. But I'm giving you this context because in response to this, Bumble has actually come out with an ad campaign saying, quote, unquote, a vow of celibacy is not the answer.

Because all of these dating apps are realizing that women are fed up with this system. Women are fed up with getting hardly anything out of a dating app except for weird creepy guys that just want, you know, single night stands. Single night stands. Is that what it's called? A 1 night stand.

Okay, you can tell I've been not on the online dating world ever before. But, yeah, it's just really interesting. So, yeah, Bumble comes out with this ad, saying a vow of celibacy is not the answer. And then on another board, it says, thou shalt not give up dating and become a nun. Okay, say that women are your product any louder, because wow, that's a little bit direct.

I feel like women have been we've been understanding our worth better. We've been raising our standards, and it's working. Dating apps are here to make money, and their product is people and selling people. And I've never had to use one. But I've only heard, you know, I've heard bad stories from dating apps.

I have heard so many good ones, though, too. In fact, some of the closest relationships in my life, they've met over over Tinder and and whatnot. So it does work, but you have to have a good person on both ends. And a few other things that I find interesting about Bumble is they even have a lifetime membership. Riddle me that one, a dating app with a life with a lifetime membership.

How is that supposed to help? And then they do have a paywall to find the best matches. So how is that pro relationship? In fact, what I'm wondering is who gets to be on the best matches part? Is that, like, everybody that pays is automatically a best match?

So then it's categorized by income or investment into the app? How is that supposed to help? Clearly, they're struggling. And it shows even with the fact that they used to be more female friendly, because once a match happened, women were the ones who could begin the conversation and send the first the first message. But now men can send the first message because, apparently, the women are done, and Bumble is struggling.

But, hey, I feel like with the 4 b movement, we're just seeing that women are tired. You guys are tired, settling for poor treatment for bare minimum. And these ads are shaming. They're shameful. I'm, like, I'm I'm kind of embarrassed for them.

Bumbles in their misogyny era. You know, they're essentially saying, come on, you're being silly. One of these women even had their mouth covered when it said, stop your vow of celibacy. You know, the media has peer pressured women into promiscuity. Promiscuity?

Promiscuity? Is that how you say it? Anyways, the media has influenced us so much. And in the early 2000, that's when it really blew up. And so I feel like, you know, 24 years later, everyone's realizing, hey, this can have detrimental effects towards yourself because of the lack of respect that these people have.

And thankfully, there is an update. Bumble did come out with an apology because of it. And they said, you know, they quote unquote made a mistake, and they said they made an attempt to lean into the community frustration, quote, unquote, by modern dating. And instead of bringing joy and humor, they unintentionally did the opposite. And now they're removing the ads.

In fact, by the time you're listening to this, this is probably old news. They're probably gone. But I just feel like what's needed in today's time. People want a 3rd space. There's there's no real life 3rd spaces, not bars, not clubs.

I want a 3rd space. I want a place to meet with friends organically. You know, luckily, I live by 2 dog parks next to meet my apartment complex. And so I've met a lot of girls who have dogs and are super friendly. But it just goes to show how big of a deal it is to have these organic spaces.

And I've said it before, and I've said it again, America is built for cars and not for people. And so it can be frustrating. One of my favorite parts about traveling to Europe is just feeling like I'm somewhere where people are the center. People is the reason these streets exist because there are 4 people. There's sidewalks everywhere.

There's massive areas where kids can play soccer, and everyone leaves their apartment complex or their, you know, small homes, and they come out to the center, and they talk with their friends. And my mom and I, we were walking in this park in Albania. We were going for this afternoon walk, and it was in this really cool old park. And I could not tell you how many groups of older gentlemen dressed up nicely in their old suits and their hats and their canes, and they were all just sitting with each other, just talking, just catching up. And there were so many different groups of these people, and woman too playing with their kids.

And it was just there were 100, if not 1000 of people out and about. And I don't know, these third spaces would just be really nice. And I'm assuming, you know, obviously really nice for dating. And, you know, because bars, they're not, in my opinion, a place to I don't know. Unless I guess, it just depends on what your activities are, I guess.

But meeting people, I don't know. I feel like the intentions at bars might be different. Do I have any ground to speak? Absolutely not. But, yeah, I just thought that this was a interesting conversation to follow-up the worst dating stories on dating apps, because it's just something that affects I mean, it's outside of Western society.

You know, we have obviously a lot more rights in America than many people do in many other countries. So can't complain there, but I also don't think that it's the worst idea in the world that things can progress. Right? Things can always progress. And I think that living your life like a man, doing what you'd like, and making decisions as if you had those choices, I think that's kind of a step that we can all take.

Because at the end of the day, you deserve to take up the space that you wanna take up, whether that's by yourself, taking yourself on dates, whether that's at the gym, in the weights room, I can't tell you. There was this moment when I was at Planet Fitness, and there's this weight section where there's 5 or 6 different benches. And I looked up once, and every single bench was filled by a woman. And it doesn't seem like a big deal. But I remember when I was 14, when I was 14, that was 10 years.

Okay. Now, it was a little bit longer than that. It was over 10 years ago. And there were not a lot of women in the weight section. In fact, there were 2 or 3 that I can remember.

And I really looked up to them because I thought that is so cool that she's brave enough to do that. And then eventually was able to do that myself. But it's just something where you kind of just have to work to be in the space, I guess, honestly. But if you don't challenge the norms, and if you don't do something different, I mean, who was the woman who started wearing pants? Was it her name, like, Amanda Bloom or something, the one that discovered pants and started wearing pants?

I remember I had a book about this. Oh, my gosh, I'm literally getting these flashback memories. It's not Amanda Bloom. I don't know who it is. I'll have to look it up.

But I remember having a book as a kid of this woman who everyone was wearing skirts, everyone was everyone was wearing skirts down to their freaking ankles, and then socks up past their ankles. There was not one ounce of skin showing. And she was sick of it because she wanted to ride a bike. She wanted to ride it functionally. And so she created pants, and it wasn't called pants.

It was called, like, bloomers or something. And everyone was staring at her. All the women were like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe that she's wearing bloomers. And it was just very, very, very revolutionizing for women. Okay.

Her name's Amelia Bloomer. Okay. Yay. I found her. So yeah, she essentially it was called the bloomer costume or bloomers.

And it was a jacket, a skirt extending below the knee, and then loose Turkish trousers, which gathered at the ankles. So she still had on a skirt, but it essentially was created in the purpose of not having as much harm to their health because it was so uncomfortable to wear corsets. And you wanna know what they called this movement? They condemned it, and they called it bloomerism. Isn't that silly?

And now look at us. We can wear pants without a skirt. We can also wear skirt without pants. We can also wear shorts. So everything starts somewhere.

And I think that the idea that you don't need a man to be happy is actually a secure place to come from, and it's a secure place to eventually have a good relationship with somebody else if you want it, because you're coming from a place of, like, wholeness and not a place of lack. And with that, I am closing out today's episode. Thank you guys so much. These dating stories were hilarious. The 4 b movement, the controversial Bumble ads, you know, everything is so interesting in our day and age, and I just like to talk about it.

And so I hope that you guys enjoy it too. With that, thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I hope you have a wonderful 4th July, and I will see you next week. Byeeeee!